Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, APPEAL TO AMERICAN AUTHORS, by NATE SALSBURY


Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

APPEAL TO AMERICAN AUTHORS, by                    
First Line: When kaiser wilhelm's little war
Last Line: America -- long may she wave!
Alternate Author Name(s): Ireland, Baron
Subject(s): Debt; World War I; Writing & Writers; First World War


[The pound sterling has risen 2 1/4 cents. -- News Item.]
When Kaiser Wilhelm's little war
Was (none too quickly) ended,
And when in one triumphant roar
The nations' cheers were blended,
Great Britain found that she had come
To owe the U. S. quite a sum.

Perceiving in that fact great harm,
A tide of immigration
Of British authors in alarm
Set in toward this our nation;
By lectures purposing to get
Enough to clear their national debt.

From leaving Britain, true, they shrank,
To sail for far dominions
And educate the simple Yank
Upon their own opinions;
But when they caught the glint of jack
The army couldn't hold them back.

Thus, G -- orge and W -- lpole keenly felt
The call to come and lecture,
And each filled up his money-belt
With gold beyond conjecture
(If I exaggerate a bit,
No harm -- you see the point of it).

Then Mr. G. K. Ch -- sterton
(Who simply can't write dully)
Came over and kept up the fun,
Tho' people said, "Well, rully,
How vurry, vurry bad this is!"
(But Ch -- sterton was getting his.)
* * * * * * * *
Now, authors, if this sort of thing
Goes on the least bit farther
The country's credit's going bing!
What? Serious? Well, rarther!
You will perceive I do not joke
When these U. S. are stony broke.

And so the fell conspiracy
To take away our lucre
Ere it become catastrophe
It's up to us to euchre.
And we can do it, it's my hunch,
By selling all our stuff to "Punch."

So now, boys, all together, heave!
Get down into the collar!
And with the pounds that we receive
Sustain the dropping dollar.
By this bright stratagem we'll save
America -- long may she wave!





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