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VENUS AND VULCAN; OR, THE MYSTERY EXPLAINED, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: When the peerless aphrodite
Last Line: Have such very ugly spouses!


WHEN the peerless Aphrodite
First appeared among her kin,
What a flutter of excitement
All the goddesses were in!

How the gods, in deep amazement,
Bowed before the Queen of Beauty,
And in loyal adoration
Proffered each his humble duty!

Phoebus, first, to greet her coming,
Met her with a grand oration;
Mars, who ne'er before had trembled,
Showed the plainest trepidation!

Hermes fairly lost his cunning,
Gazing at the new Elysian;
Plutus quite forgot his money
In the rapture of his vision!

Even Jove was deeply smitten
(So the Grecian poets tell us),
And, as might have been expected,
Juno was extremely jealous!

Staid Minerva thought her silly;
Chaste Diana called her vain;
But not one of all the ladies
Dared to say that she was "plain"!

Surely such a throng of lovers
Never mortal yet could boast;
Everywhere throughout Olympus
"Charming Venus!" was the toast!

Even Vulcan, lame and ugly,
Paid the dame his awkward court;
But the goddess, in derision,
Turned his passion into sport;

Laughed aloud at all his pleading,
Bade him wash his visage sooty,
And go wooing with the Harpies,
What had he to do with Beauty?

Well -- how fared it with the goddess?
Sure, the haughty queen of love,
Choosing one to suit her fancy,
Married Phoebus, Mars, or Jove?

No! -- at last -- as often happens
To coquettes of lower station --
Venus found herself neglected,
With a damaged reputation;

And esteeming any husband
More desirable than none,
She was glad to marry Vulcan
As the best that could be done!

L'ENVOI.
Hence you learn the real reason,
Which your wonder oft arouses,
Why so many handsome women
Have such very ugly spouses!





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