Classic and Contemporary Poetry
CLUB LAW, by JAMES SMITH (1775-1839) Poet's Biography First Line: Dear tom, since by a lucky knack Last Line: You're safe in your location. Subject(s): Humility; Singing & Singers; Smiles | ||||||||
DEAR TOM, since by a lucky knack, Your white balls overtop the black, And counter-canvass smother, Let me your mental garment darn, As old Polonius spun a yarn To fair Ophelia's brother. "Be thou familiar," should you see At dinner an austere M.P. Just as his glass he's filling, Accost him -- whatsoe'er his rank -- With "Sir, I'd thank you for a frank," And save your aunt a shilling. "Give every man (of wealth) thine ear;" Smile when he smiles, his sallies cheer, Out his connexions ferret; Or roar his catch, or sing his psalm: But, Thomas, "never dull thy palm" By shaking hands with Merit. At a house-dinner show your fun -- Mount a horse-laugh, quiz, banter, pun, Be saucy as a squirrel; But if your foe possess a pair Of Manton's polished pops, "beware Of entrance to a quarrel." If a roast fillet deck the board, With bacon, you can well afford To leave the viand per se; But if a haunch supplant the veal, "Grapple" the joint "with hooks of steel," And carve it without mercy. "Apparel oft proclaims the man:" Wear, then, the richest garb you can, Whilst in the club a dweller; And if men doubt your means and ways, Reverse the caveat emptor phrase, And cast it to the seller. "Take each man's censure" in good part; -- Pliant humility's an art That copper turns to siller. "Be not a lender" -- memories flit; "Nor borrower" -- unless a wit From old Josephus Miller. Place on the fender both your feet; When Boreas howls, complain of heat, And open all the windows; Ring for the waiter, bang the door, And for your brethren care no more Than Tippoo cared for Hindoos. Never to acquiesce be seen; To those who dwell on Edmund Kean, Talk of John Kemble's glories. Dub all who do the civil, prigs; Revile Lord Melbourne to the Whigs, Sir Robert to the Tories. And now, dear Tom, farewell; the gale "Sits in the shoulder of your sail," -- Defy disapprobation: For, till committee-men begin To ballot out, as well as in, You're safe in your location. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE ANGEL'S WHISPER by SAMUEL LOVER SONG OF THREE SMILES by WILLIAM STANLEY MERWIN COMPENSATIONS by CHRISTOPHER BANNISTER MEARY'S SMILE by WILLIAM BARNES THE LAUGHING WOMAN by WILLIAM ROSE BENET LOVE IN EXILE 2: 4 by MATHILDE BLIND REJECTED ADDRESSES: THE BABY'S DEBUT, BY W. W. by JAMES SMITH (1775-1839) |
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