Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE NOTORIOUS GLUTTON, by ANN TAYLOR


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE NOTORIOUS GLUTTON, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: A duck who had got such a habit of stuffing
Last Line: There to learn the disgrace in which gluttony ends.
Subject(s): Ducks; Gluttony; Mallards; Drakes


A DUCK who had got such a habit of stuffing,
That all the day long she was panting and puffing,
And by every creature who did her great crop see,
Was thought to be galloping fast for a dropsy;

One day, after eating a plentiful dinner,
With full twice as much as there should have been in her,
While up to her forehead still greedily roking,
Was greatly alarmed by the symptoms of choking.

Now there was an old fellow, much famed for discerning
(A drake, who had taken a liking for learning),
And high in repute with his feathery friends,
Was called Dr. Drake: for this doctor she sends.

In a hole of the dunghill was Dr. Drake's shop,
Where he kept a few simples for curing the crop;
Small pebbles, and two or three different gravels,
With certain famed plants he had found in his travels.

So taking a handful of suitable things,
And brushing his topple and pluming his wings,
And putting his feathers in apple-pie order,
He went to prescribe for the lady's disorder.

"Dear sir," said the duck, with a delicate quack,
Just turning a little way round on her back,
And leaning her head on a stone in the yard,
"My case, Dr. Drake, is exceedingly hard.

"I feel so distended with wind, and opprest,
So squeamish and faint, such a load at my chest;
And, day after day, I assure you it is hard,
To suffer with patience these pains in my gizzard."

"Give me leave," said the doctor with medical look,
As her cold flabby paw in his fingers he took;
"By the feel of your pulse, your complaint, I've been thinking,
Must surely be owing to eating and drinking."

"Oh! no, sir, believe me," the lady replied
(Alarmed for her stomach, as well as her pride),
"I'm sure it arises from nothing I eat,
But I rather suspect I got wet in my feet.

"I've only been raking a bit in the gutter,
Where cook has been pouring some cold melted butter,
And a slice of green cabbage, and scraps of cold meat
Just a trifle or two, that I thought I could eat."

The doctor was just to his business proceeding,
By gentle emetics, a blister, and bleeding,
When all on a sudden she rolled on her side,
Gave a terrible quack, and a struggle, and died!

Her remains were interred in a neighbouring swamp
By her friends with a great deal of funeral pomp;
But I've heard, this inscription her tombstone displayed:
"Here poor Mrs. Duck, the great glutton, is laid";
And all the young ducklings are brought by their friends
There to learn the disgrace in which gluttony ends.





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