Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, EPIGRAMMATICK SKETCH, by ROYALL TYLER

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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

EPIGRAMMATICK SKETCH, by                 Poet's Biography
First Line: Prithee do you know tom tweezer
Last Line: "and my duck will want a new one!"
Alternate Author Name(s): Old Simon; S.
Subject(s): Consumerism; Fashion

PRITHEE do you know Tom Tweezer,
He that has a wife so pretty?
Tom's whole soul is bent to please her,
And to see her drest the tippy.

Beaux point the opera glass and swear that
Mrs. Tweezer's all the rage;
The ladies, one and all, declare that
Tom's the best husband of the age.

Spring or fall ships never lie to,
But Tom, ever bent to please her,
Flies to Mrs. Cruft's to buy too,
Something smart for Mrs. Tweezer.

Crape, cambrick, lutestring, sattinet,
Muslin, chambray, piquet, leno,
Armlets, caps of spider net,
And of smart things more than we know.

But oft, when happy Tom would fly
To buy the tasty for his dearest,
He found that fashion had gone by,
Of queer things he had bought the queerest.

Too oft he hears his dear remark,
While with disdain her eyes she rolls,
"Why sure this came from Noah's ark,
Lard! it is as old as poles.

"You know, my love, that Sally Flaret
Wore sich a one last Friday night;
How could you think that I would wear it,
'T would make me look like sich a frite!"

Running, puffing, panting, sweating,
The anxious Tom I chanced to meet;
On his brow deep thought was sitting,
In both his hands a band box neat.

Prithee, Thomas, why so hasty?
You run as if you ran for life.
"O, I've purchased something tasty,
A smart new bonnet for my wife.

"Stop me not, I must not falter,
I must hasten to my true one,
The fashion else I fear will alter,
And my Duck will want a new one!"

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