Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE EXTRAVAGANT DRUNKARD'S WISH, by EDWARD WARD


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE EXTRAVAGANT DRUNKARD'S WISH, by                    
First Line: Had I my wish, I would distend my guts
Last Line: And settle satan's kingdom ev'rywhere.
Subject(s): Alcoholism & Alcoholics; Wishes


HAD I my wish, I would distend my guts
As wide as from the north to southern skies,
And have at once as many mouths and throats
As old Briareus arms, or Argos eyes.
The raging sea's unpalatable brine,
That drowns so many thousands in a year,
I'd turn into an ocean of good wine,
And for my cup would choose the hemisphere;
Would then perform the wager Xanthus laid,
In spite of all the river's flowing streams,
Swill till I pissed a deluge, then to bed,
And please my thirsty soul with small-beer dreams.
Thus drink and sleep and, waking, swill again,
Till I had drunk the sea-gods' cellar dry,
Then rob the niggard Neptune, and his train
Of Tritons, of that wealth they now enjoy;
Kiss the whole Nerides and make the jades
Sing all their charming songs to please my ear,
And whether flesh or fish, thornbacks or maids,
I'd make the gypsies kind through love or fear.
And when thus wicked and thus wealthy grown,
For nothing good, I'd turn rebellious Whig,
Pull ev'ry monarch headlong from his throne,
And with the Prince of Darkness make a league,
That he and I, and all the Whigs beside,
Might rend down churches, crowns in pieces tear,
Exert our malice, gratify our pride,
And settle Satan's kingdom ev'rywhere.





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