Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, A CERTAIN EDITOR, by AMOS RUSSEL WELLS


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

A CERTAIN EDITOR, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: He was personally fatuous and horrid
Last Line: And contrive a handsome dividend from dirt!
Subject(s): Editors


He was personally fatuous and horrid,
He was ugly, he was cruel, he was mean,
His talk was diabolically torrid,
He was just about the crudest ever seen;
But his paper ran the universe to suit it,
Censored architecture, poetry, and art;
As to genius, did not hesitate to boot it,
While it settled all affairs of home and heart.

He was wallowing in debt up to the limit,
He was hated by his neighbors and his wife,
He was in the social swim but couldn't swim it,
He had made a total failure of his life;
But in print he was a master of finances,
Pointed out the many ways the tariff robs,
Led statistics through the intricatest dances,
And showed the statesmen how to run their jobs.

Oh, the printing-press is wonderfully clever;
As a miracle machine it's out of sight;
It can take a chap who is the lowest ever,
And transform him to a minister of light.
It can squeeze eternal wisdom from a ninny,
To a Washington an Arnold can convert;
It can change Petroleum Nasby to a Pliny,
And contrive a handsome dividend from dirt!





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