Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, ISABELLA; OR, THE MORNING, SELECTION, by CHARLES HANBURY WILLIAMS



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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

ISABELLA; OR, THE MORNING, SELECTION, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: The monkey, lap-dog, parrot, and her grace
Last Line: Guiltless they'll gaze, and innocent adore.
Subject(s): Generals; Morning; Retirement


THE monkey, lap-dog, parrot, and her Grace
Had each retired from breakfast to their place,
When, hark, a knock! 'See, Betty, see who's there.'
' 'Tis Mr. Bateman, ma'am, in his new chair.'
'Dicky's new chair! the charming'st thing in town,
Whose poles are lacquered, and whose lining's brown!'
But see, he enters with his shuffling gait:
'Lord,' says her Grace, 'how could you be so late?'
'I'm sorry, madam, I have made you wait,'
Bateman replied; 'I only stayed to bring
The newest, charming'st, most delightful thing!'
'Oh! tell me what's the curiosity!
Oh! show it me this instant, or I die!'
To please the noble dame, the courtly squire
Produced a tea-pot, made in Staffordshire.
With eager eyes the longing Duchess stood,
And o'er and o'er the shining bauble viewed:
Such were the joys touched young Atrides' breast,
Such all the Grecian host at once expressed,
When from beneath his robe, to all their view,
Laertes' son the famed Palladium drew.
So Venus looked, and with such longing eyes,
When Paris first produced the golden prize.
'Such work as this,' she cries, 'can England do?
It equals Dresden, and outdoes St. Cloud:
All modern china now shall hide its head,
And e'en Chantilly must give o'er the trade.
For lace let Flanders bear away the bell,
In finest linen let the Dutch excel;
For prettiest stuffs let Ireland first be named,
And for best-fancied silks let France be famed;
Do thou, thrice happy England! still prepare
This clay, and build thy fame on earthenware.'
More she'd have said, but that again she heard
The knocker—and the General appeared.
The General, one of those brave old commanders,
Who served through all the glorious wars in Flanders;
Frank and good-natured, of an honest heart,
Loving to act the steady friendly part:
None led through youth a gayer life than he,
Cheerful in converse, smart in repartee.
Sweet was his night, and joyful was his day,
He dined with Walpole, and with Oldfield lay;
But with old age its vices came along,
And in narration he's extremely long;
Exact in circumstance, and nice in dates,
On every subject he his tale relates.
If you name one of Marlbro's ten campaigns,
He tells you its whole history for your pains:
And Blenheim's field becomes, by his reciting,
As long in telling as it was in fighting.
His old desire to please is still expressed;
His hat's well cocked, his periwig's well dressed:
He rolls his stockings still, white gloves he wears,
And in the boxes with the beaux appears;
His eyes through wrinkled corners cast their rays;
Still he bows graceful, still soft things he says:
And still rememb'ring that he once was young,
He strains his crippled knees, and struts along.
The room he entered smiling, which bespoke
Some worn-out compliment, or thread-bare joke.
(For not perceiving loss of parts, he yet
Grasps at the shade of his departed wit.)
'How does your Grace? I hope I see you well!
What a prodigious deal of rain has fell!
Will the sun never let us see his face?
But who can ever want a sun that sees your Grace?'
'Your servant, Sir—but see what I have got!
Isn't it a prodigious charming pot?
And ar'n't you vastly glad we make them here?
For Dicky got it out of Staffordshire.
See how the charming vine twines all about!
Lord! what a handle! Jesus! what a spout!
And that old pagod, and that charming child!
If Lady Townsend saw them, she'd be wild!'
To this the General: 'Madam, who would not?
Lord! where could Mr. Bateman find this pot?
Dear Dicky, couldn't you get one for me?
I want some useful china mightily;
Two jars, two beakers, and a pot-pourri.'
'Oh, Mr. Churchill, where d'ye think I've been?
At Margus's, and there such fireworks seen,
So very pretty, charming, odd and new;
And, I assure you, they're right Indian too!
I've bought them all, there's not one left in town;
And if you were to see them, you would own
You never saw such fireworks anywhere.'
—'Oh, Madam, I must beg your pardon there,'
The General cried, 'for—'twas in the year ten—
No, let me recollect, it was not then;
'Twas in the year eight, I think, for then we lay
Encamped with all the army, near Cambray—
Yes, yes, I'm sure I'm right by one event,
We supped together in Cadogan's tent,
Palmes, Meredith, Lumley, and poor George Grove,
And merrily the bumpers round we drove;
To Marlbro's health we drank confounded hard,
For he'd just beat the French at Oudenarde;
And Lord Cadogan then had got, by chance,
The best champagne that ever came from France;
And 'twas no wonder that it was so good,
For some dragoons had seized it on the road;
And they had heard from those they took it from,
It was designed a present for Vendôme.
So we—' But see, another Charles's face
Cuts short the General, and relieves her Grace.
So, when one crop-sick parson, in a doze,
Is reading morning-service through his nose,
Another in the pulpit straight appears,
Claiming the tired-out congregation's ears,
And with a duller sermon ends their pray'rs.
For this old Charles is full as dull as t' other,
Baevius to Maevius was not more a brother;
From two defects his talk no joy affords,
From want of matter, and from want of words.
'I hope,' says he, 'your Grace is well today,
And caught no cold by venturing to the play!'
'Oh, Sir, I'm mighty well—won't you sit down?
Pray, Mr. Stanhope, what's the news in town?'
'Madam, I know of none; but I'm just come
From seeing a curiosity at home:
'Twas sent to Martin Folkes as being rare,
And he and Desaguliers brought it there:
It's called a Polypus'—'What's that?'—'A creature,
The wonderful'st of all the works of nature:
Hither it came from Holland, where 'twas caught
(I should not say it came, for it was brought);
Tomorrow we're to have it at Crane-court,
And 'tis a reptile of so strange a sort,
That if 'tis cut in two, it is not dead;
Its head shoots out a tail, its tail a head;
Take out its middle, and observe its ends,
Here a head rises, there a tail descends;
Or cut off any part that you desire,
That part extends, and makes itself entire.
But what it feeds on still remains a doubt,
Or how it generates is not found out:
But at our Board, tomorrow, 'twill appear,
And then 'twill be considered and made clear,
For all the learned body will be there.'
'Lord, I must see it, or I am undone,'
The Duchess cried, 'pray can't you get me one?
I never heard of such a thing before,
I long to cut it and make fifty more;
I'd have a cage made up in taste for mine,
And, Dicky—you shall give me a design.'
But here the General to a yawn gave way,
And Stanhope had not one more word to say,
So stretched on easy chairs in apathy they lay;
And, on each side the goddess they adored,
One Charles sat speechless, and the other snored.
When chaste Susanna's all-subduing charms
Made two old lovers languish for her arms,
Soon as her eyes had thawed the frost of age,
Their passions mounted into lustful rage;
With brutal violence they attacked their prcy,
And almost bore the wished-for prize away.
Hail happy Duchess! 'twixt two elders placed
Whose passions brutal lust has ne'er disgraced,
No warm expressions make your blushes rise,
No ravished kiss shoots light'ning from your eyes.
Let them but visit you, they ask no more;
Guiltless they'll gaze, and innocent adore.





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