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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

LADIES DON'T GO THIEVING, by                    
First Line: Oh don't we live in curious times
Last Line: And don't go out a - thieving
Subject(s): Crimes & Criminals;duplicity;honesty;women; Deceit


Oh don't we live in curious times,
You scarce could be believing,
When Frenchmen fight and Emperors die,
And ladies go a-thieving.
A beauty of the West-end went,
Around a shop she lingers,
And there upon some handkerchiefs
She clapped her pretty fingers.
Into the shop she gently popped,
The world is quite deceiving
When ladies have a notion got
To ramble out a-thieving.

Thieving is a naughty trade
As I unto you will state;
If a poor man stole a penny loaf
They'd send him off to Newgate.
They would give him six months in jail
'Cause in roguery he was dealing,
But here's a lady in a veil
Who rambled out a-stealing.

Her husband when he heard the news
Received a regular twister,
He vowed he'd bleed and jalap her
And her pretty fingers blister,
Because she did not steal for want
Nor was she getting thinner,
She had silks to wear and all things nice
And did not want a dinner.

Not very far from Baker Street
This lady in her rigging
Went out so grand, you understand,
To have a turn at prigging,
But lack-a-daisy she got caught,
The shopman he did mark her,
I say, says he, marm, if you please,
Pray what have you been arter.

You have been prigging, marm, says he,
Your looks are quite deceiving,
So help my bob you'll go to quod,
For going out a-thieving,
I would not believe that you could thieve,
You've done it marm so clever,
But you are caught as quick as thought,
Oh dear did you ever.

The draper bawled beneath her shawl
What do you mean by this, then,
And quickly she was in the hands
Of a stunning great policeman,
Who walked her off, so help my bob,
She really was deceiving,
And the magistrate sent her to quod
For going out a-thieving.

Now ladies all take my advice
And you will always find it
Honesty is the best policy,
Pray ladies try to mind it,
Don't covet other people's goods
Or be the least deceiving,
Do what is right, lead an honest life,
And don't go out a-thieving.





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