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THE NEW STENOGRAPHER, by                    
First Line: I have a new stenographer - she came to work to-day
Last Line: Thinking you have the feever I am yours very truely
Subject(s): Stenography

I HAVE a new stenographer — she came to work to-day,
She told me that she wrote the latest system.
Two hundred words a minute seemed to her, she said, like play,
And word for word at that! — she never missed'em!
I gave her some dictation — a letter to a man —
And this, as I remember it, was how the letter ran:

"Dear Sir: I have your favor, and in reply would state
That I accept the offer in yours of recent date.
I wish to say, however, that under no condition
Can I afford to think of your free lance proposition.

I shall begin to-morrow to turn the matter out;
The copy will be ready by August 10th, about.
Material of this nature should not be rushed unduly.
Thanking you for your favor, I am, yours, very truly."

She took it down in shorthand with apparent ease and grace;
She didn't call me back all in a flurry.
Thought I: "At last I have a girl worth keeping 'round the place";
Then said: "Now write it out — you needn't hurry."
The typewriter she tackled — now and then she struck a key,
And after thirty minutes this is what she handed me:

"Deer sir, I have the Feever, and in a Pile i Sit
And I except the Offer as you have reasoned it,
I wish to see however That under any condition
can I for to Think of a free lunch Preposishun?
I Shal be in tomorrow To., turn the mother out,
The cap will be red and Will costt, $10, about.
Mateeriul of this nation should not rust N. Dooley,
Thinking you have the Feever I am Yours very Truely."

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