VIRGIDEMIAE: BOOK 2: SATIRE: 7 by JOSEPH HALL

In th'heauens vniuersall Alphabet,
All earthly things so surely are foreset,
That who can read those figures, may foreshew
What euer thing shall afterwards ensue.
Faine would I know (might it our Artist please)
Why can his tell-troth @3Ephemerides@1
Teach him the weathers state so long beforne:
And not foretell him, nor his fatall horne,
Nor his deaths-day, nor no such sad euent,
Which he mought wisely labour to preuent?
Thou damned mock-art, and thou brainsick tale,
Of olde @3Astrology:@1 where didst thou vaile
Thy cursed head thus long: that so it mist
The black bronds of some sharper Satyrist.
Some doting gossip mongst the @3Chaldee@1 wiues,
Did to the credulous world thee first deriue:
And superstition nurs'd thee euer since,
And publisht in profounder @3Arts@1 pretence:
That now who pares his nailes, or libs his swine,
But he must first take counsell of the signe.
So that the Vulgars count, for faire or foule,
For liuing or for dead, for sicke or whole:
His feare or hope, for plentie or for lacke,
Hangs all vpon his @3New-yeares Almanacke.@1
If chance once in the spring his head should ake:
It was foretold: Thus saies mine @3Almanacke.@1
In th'heauens @3High-streete@1 are but a dozen roomes,
In which dwels all the world, past and to come:
Twelue goodly @3Innes@1 they are, with twelue fayre signes,
Euer well tended by our @3Star-diuines.@1
Euery mans head Innes at the horned @3Ramme,@1
The whiles the necke the @3Black-buls@1 guest became:
Th'arms by good hap, meet at the wrastling twinns,
Th'heart in the way at the @3Blew-lion@1 innes.
The legs their lodging in @3Aquarius@1 got,
That is @3Bridge street@1 of the heauen, I wot.
The feete tooke vp the @3Fish@1 with teeth of gold:
But who with @3Scorpio@1 log'd, may not be told.
What office then doth the @3Star-gazer@1 beare?
Or let him be the heauens @3Ostelere:@1
Or @3Tapsters@1 some: or some be @3Chamberlaines,@1
To waite vpon the gueste they entertaine.
Hence can they reade, by vertue of their trade,
When any thing is mist where it was laide.
Hence they diuine, and hence they can deuise:
If their ayme faile the @3Stars@1 to moralize.
@3Demon@1 my friend once liuer-sicke of loue,
Thus learn'd I by the signes his griefe remoue.
In the blinde @3Archer@1 first I saw the signe,
When thou receiu'dst that wilfull wound of thine:
And now in @3Virgo@1 is that cruel mayde,
Which hath not yet with loue thy loue repaide.
But marke when once it comes to @3Gemini,@1
Straightway Fish-whole shall thy sicke liuer be.
But now (as th'angry Heauens seeme to threat)
Many hard fortunes, and disastres great:
If chance it come to wanton @3Capricorne,@1
And so into the @3Rams@1 disgracefull horne,
Then learne thou of the vgly @3Scorpion,@1
To hate her for her foule abusion:
Thy refuge then the Ballance be of Right,
Which shall thee from thy broken bond acquite:
So with the Crab go backe whence thou began,
From thy first match: and liue a single man.

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