FATHER CHRISTMAS @3The False.@1 FATHER Christmas, fat with gifts, Scorns the ordinary lifts, Comes, unnoticed, by the grate On the customary date. @3The True.@1 Armed with over-crowded hose Father to the nursery goes; Tommy with but little tact, Catches father in the act. THE YULE LOG @3The False.@1 Tripping o'er the crisp, white snow, See the children come (or go), Bringing in the Christmas fuel, Though the frost is keen and cruel. @3The True.@1 Yule is signalled by the flight Of the staid electric light, Amputated from the main (The dynamo is crocked again). CHRISTMAS NUMBERS @3The False.@1 These appear at Christmas time Full of seasonable rhyme. @3The True.@1 These are published during June; We shall have the next ones soon. THE WAITS @3The False.@1 How we love the sweet refrain Floating down the moonlit lane -- Wench and stripling, lad and lass, Chanting @3Good King Wenceslas@1. @3The True.@1 Every evening at the gate Figures the accursed Wait: All of them, I say, are curs'd; But the basses are the worst. @3The False.@1 "This has been a heavy year; Give him half-a-sovereign, dear." @3The True.@1 "Nothing but rejected verse Tell the man I've lost my purse." SNOWBALLING @3The False.@1 Everyone whose heart is right Loves to have a snowball fight. @3The True.@1 I have never loved it yet; English snow is very wet. SLIDING @3The False.@1 When it freezes, we shall make Splendid slides upon the lake. @3The True.@1 If I want to have a fall, I can get it in the hall. SKI-ING @3The False.@1 "Let us @3ski@1 across the downs: We can call upon the Browns." @3The True.@1 "On the whole, I feel that we Should not shine upon a @3ski@1." |