JEDGE is good at argyin' -- No mistake in that! Most folks 'at tackles @3him@1 He'll skin 'em like a cat! You see, the Jedge is read up, And b'en in politics, Hand-in-glove, you might say, Sence back in '56. Elected to the Shurrif, first, Then elected Clerk; Went into lawin' then, And buckled down to work; Practised three or four terms, Then he run for jedge -- Speechified a little 'round, And went in like a wedge! Run fer Legislatur' twic't -- Made her, ever' pop! Keeps on the way he's doin', Don't know where he'll stop! Some thinks he's got his eye On the gov'nership; -- Well, ef he tuk the track, Guess he'd make the trip. But I started out to tell ye -- (Now I allus liked @3the man@1 -- Not fer his politics, But @3social',@1 understan'! -- Fer, 's regards to @3my@1 views, Political and sich. -- When we come together there We're purty ap' to hitch) -- Ketched him in at Knox's shop On'y t'other day -- Gittin' shaved, the Jedge was, Er somepin' thataway. -- Well, I tetched him up some On the silver bill: -- Jedge says, "I won't discuss it;" @3I@1 says, "You @3will!"@1 I-says-ee, "I reckon You'll concede with me, @3Coin's@1 the on'y ginuine Money," I-says-ee; Says I, "What's a dollar-bill?" Says I, "What's a ten -- Er forty-'leven hunderd of 'em? Give us @3specie,@1 then!" I seed I was a-gittin' The Jedge kind o' red Around the gills. He hawked some And cle'red his throat and said -- "Facts is too complicated 'Bout the bill in view," Squirmed and told the barber then He wisht he'd hurry through. 'Ll, then, I knowed I had him, -- And the crowd around the fire Was all a-winkin' at me, As the barber raised him higher -- Says I, "jedge, what's a dollar? -- Er a half-un," I-says-ee -- "What's a @3quarter?@1 -- What's a @3dime?"@1 "What's @3cents?"@1 says he. W'y, I had him fairly b'ilin'! "You needn't comb my hair," He says to the barber -- "I want fresh air;" And you'd 'a' died a-laughin' To 'a' seed him grab his hat, As I-says-ee, says I, "Judge, Where you goin' at!" Jedge is good at argyin', By-and-large; and yit Beat him at his own game And he's going' to git! And yit the Jedge is read up, And b'en in politics, Hand-in-glove, you might say, Sence back in '56. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...TO A CATY-DID by PHILIP FRENEAU RIDDLE: A CANDLE by MOTHER GOOSE PEARLS OF THE FAITH: 83. YA MALIK by EDWIN ARNOLD SONNETS OF MANHOOD: 38. THE RETREAT FROM MOSCOW by GEORGE BARLOW (1847-1913) THE LOVE SONNETS OF PROTEUS: 51. FAREWELL TO JULIET (13) by WILFRID SCAWEN BLUNT |