WHO has e'er been at Drury must needs know the Stranger, A wailing old Methodist, gloomy and wan, A husband suspicious -- his wife acted Ranger, She took to her heels, and left poor Hypocon. Her martial gallant swore that truth was a libel, That marriage was thraldom, elopement no sin; Quoth she, I remember the words of my Bible -- My spouse is a Stranger, and I'll take him in. With my sentimentalibus lachrymae roar'em, And pathos and bathos delightful to see; And chop and change ribs, a-la-mode Germanorum, And high diddle ho diddle, pop tweedle dee. To keep up her dignity no longer rich enough, Where was her plate? -- why, 'twas laid on the shelf; Her land fuller's earth, and her great riches kitchen-stuff -- Dressing the dinner instead of herself. No longer permitted in diamonds to sparkle, Now plain Mrs. Haller, of servants the dread, With a heart full of grief, and a pan full of charcoal, She lighted the company up to their bed. Incensed at her flight, her poor Hubby in dudgeon Roam'd after his rib in a gig and a pout, Till, tired with his journey the peevish curmudgeon Sat down and blubber'd just like a church-spout. One day on a bench as dejected and sad he laid, Hearing a squash, he cried, Damn it, what's that? 'Twas a child of the count's, in whose service lived Adelaide, Soused in the river, and squall'd like a cat. Having drawn his young excellence up to the bank, it Appear'd that himself was all dripping, I swear; No wonder he soon became dry as a blanket, Exposed as he was to the count's @3son@1 and @3heir,@1 Dear sir, quoth the count, in reward of your valour, To shew that my gratitude is not mere talk, You shall eat a beefsteak with my cook, Mrs. Haller, Cut from the rump with her own knife and fork. Behold, now the count gave the Stranger a dinner, With gunpowder-tea, which you know brings a ball, And, thin as he was, that he might not grow thinner, He made of the Stranger no stranger at all. At dinner fair Adelaide brought up a chicken -- A bird that she never had met with before; But, seeing him, scream'd, and was carried off kicking, And he bang'd his nob 'gainst the opposite door. To finish my tale without roundaboutation, Young master and missee besieged their papa; They sung a quartetto in grand blubberation -- The Stranger cried Oh! Mrs. Haller cried Ah! Though pathos and sentiment largely are dealt in, I have no good moral to give in exchange; For though she, as a cook, might be given to melting, The Stranger's behaviour was certainly strange, With this sentimentalibus lachrymae roar'em, And pathos and bathos delightful to see, And chop and change ribs, a-la-mode Germanorum, And high diddle ho diddle, pop tweedle dee. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...MENELAUS AND HELEN by RUPERT BROOKE THE DESERTED HOUSE by MARY ELIZABETH COLERIDGE THE BATTLE-CRY OF FREEDOM by GEORGE FREDERICK ROOT SONNET: 9 by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE THE DISMANTLED SHIP by WALT WHITMAN THE WOOD THRUSH by SUSAN SHARP ADAMS |