Poetry Explorer


Classic and Contemporary Poetry


THE TWOPENNY POST-BAG: LETTER 7 by THOMAS MOORE

First Line: PER POST, SIR, WE SEND YOUR MS.-LOOK'D IT THROUGH-
Last Line: YOURS, ET CETERA.

PER post, sir, we send your MS. -- look'd it through --
Very sorry -- but can't undertake -- 'twouldn't do.
Clever work, sir! -- would @3get up@1 prodigiously well --
Its only defect is -- it never would sell!
And though @3Statesmen@1 may glory in being @3unbought@1,
In an @3Author@1, we think, sir, that's @3rather@1 a fault.

Hard times, sir, -- most books are too dear to be read --
Though the @3gold@1 of Good Sense and Wit's @3small change@1 are fled,
Yet the @3paper@1 we publishers pass, in their stead,
Rises higher each day, and ('tis frightful to think it)
Not even such names as F -- tzg -- r -- d's can sink it!

However, sir -- if you're for trying again,
And at somewhat that's vendible -- we are your men.

Since the Chevalier C -- rr took to marrying lately,
The trade is in want of a @3Traveller@1 greatly --
No job, sir, more easy -- your @3Country@1 once plann'd,
A month aboard ship and a fortnight on land
Puts your quarto of Travels, sir, clean out of hand.

An East-India pamphlet's a thing that would tell --
And a lick at the Papists is @3sure@1 to sell well.
Or -- supposing you've nothing @3original@1 in you --
Write Parodies, sir, and such fame it will win you,
You'll get to the Blue-stocking Routs of Alb -- n -- a!
(Mind -- @3not@1 to her @3dinners@1 -- a @3second-hand@1 Muse
Mustn't think of aspiring to @3mess@1 with the @3Blues@1.)
Or -- in case nothing else in this world you can do --
The deuce is in 't, sir, if you cannot @3review!@1

Should you feel any touch of @3poetical@1 glow,
We've a scheme to suggest -- Mr. Sc -- tt, you must know,
(Who, we're sorry to say it, now works for @3the Row@1),
Having quitted the borders, to seek new renown,
Is coming, by long quarto stages, to town;
And beginning with Rokeby (the job's sure to pay)
Means to @3do@1 all the gentlemen's seats on the way.
Now, the scheme is (though none of our hackneys can beat him)
To start a fresh poet through Highgate to @3meet@1 him;
Who, by means of quick proofs -- no revises -- long coaches --
May do a few villas, before Sc -- tt approaches --
Indeed, if our Pegasus be not cursed shabby,
He'll reach, without foundering, at least Woburn Abbey.

Such, sir, is our plan -- if you're up to the freak,
'Tis a match! and we'll put you @3in training@1 next week --
At present, no more -- in reply to this letter, a
Line will oblige very much
Yours, et cetera.



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