Mr. Ananias Bounce Has the honor to announce The first issue of The Day, Number Naughty-Naught, Broadway. Nothing ever seen as yet Touches it; videlicet: Its supreme desire shall be Not for size, but brevity. All the news, with sober sense, It will test, assort, condense, Throw the straw and husks away, Give the kernel in The Day. When it does not chance to know, It will dare to tell you so. When a thing should not be told, Though editions might be sold, Though its readers' optics itch, It will scorn to handle pitch. What it honestly believes, It will wear upon its sleeves, Though the whole two-cented town Shall unite to "call it down." As to parties, it will dare Get its truth from everywhere. As to news, it will report More the church and less the court, More the good that men have done Than the sin beneath the sun. It will not attempt to be A diurnal library: Comic Weekly, Art Review, Fashion Journal, Sporting, too, Literary Magazine, Scientific Bulletin, Children's Paper, Kitchen Guide, Sermon Digest, Poet's Pride! Thus it will have time to be Quite a Newspaper. you see! As for its advertisements, (Listen, O ye men of sense!) Fake or honest, large or small, It will print no "ad" at all. Now that it may meet with ease Probable emergencies -- Not a buyer in the crowd -- It is suitably endowed. Thus its virtue will endure; Thus its courage we insure; For if buyers, in the end, Fail, for foe or lack of friend, We're prepared on any day Just to give the sheet away! Knowing how success succeeds, When a man no friendship needs, On immediate favor counts MR. ANANIAS BOUNCE. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...SONG: 5 by ANNA LETITIA BARBAULD TAKE YOUR CHOICE: NICHOLAS VACHEL LINDSAY WOULD SPEAK ... THIS MANNER by BERTON BRALEY TO A FRIEND WANTING WAR by MAXWELL STRUTHERS BURT SONG OF A TURF-SOD by WILLIAM A. BYRNE THE FIRSTBORN by ARCHIBALD YOUNG CAMPBELL THE ENVIOUS WREN by PHOEBE CARY LINES FROM A NOTEBOOK - MAY/JUNE 1811 by SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE |