Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, YULETIDE YARNS, by ALAN PATRICK HERBERT


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

YULETIDE YARNS, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Father christmas, fat with gifts
Last Line: "should not shine upon a ski."
Alternate Author Name(s): Patrick, A. P.
Subject(s): Christmas; Oxford University; Nativity, The


FATHER CHRISTMAS

The False.

FATHER Christmas, fat with gifts,
Scorns the ordinary lifts,
Comes, unnoticed, by the grate
On the customary date.

The True.

Armed with over-crowded hose
Father to the nursery goes;
Tommy with but little tact,
Catches father in the act.

THE YULE LOG

The False.

Tripping o'er the crisp, white snow,
See the children come (or go),
Bringing in the Christmas fuel,
Though the frost is keen and cruel.

The True.

Yule is signalled by the flight
Of the staid electric light,
Amputated from the main
(The dynamo is crocked again).

CHRISTMAS NUMBERS

The False.

These appear at Christmas time
Full of seasonable rhyme.

The True.

These are published during June;
We shall have the next ones soon.

THE WAITS

The False.

How we love the sweet refrain
Floating down the moonlit lane --
Wench and stripling, lad and lass,
Chanting Good King Wenceslas.

The True.

Every evening at the gate
Figures the accursed Wait:
All of them, I say, are curs'd;
But the basses are the worst.

The False.

"This has been a heavy year;
Give him half-a-sovereign, dear."

The True.

"Nothing but rejected verse
Tell the man I've lost my purse."

SNOWBALLING

The False.

Everyone whose heart is right
Loves to have a snowball fight.

The True.

I have never loved it yet;
English snow is very wet.

SLIDING

The False.

When it freezes, we shall make
Splendid slides upon the lake.

The True.

If I want to have a fall,
I can get it in the hall.

SKI-ING

The False.

"Let us ski across the downs:
We can call upon the Browns."

The True.

"On the whole, I feel that we
Should not shine upon a ski."





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