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Classic and Contemporary Poetry
MONEY BACK, by WALT MASON Poet's Biography
First Line: Your money back if things don't suit'
Last Line: Infant after him.
Subject(s): Advertising; Grocers; Merchants; Money
First Line: Your money back if things don't suit'
Last Line: Infant after him.
Subject(s): Advertising; Grocers; Merchants; Money
"YOUR money back if things don't suit," our grocer says, in all his ads; but
when I bought some wormy fruit, for which I paid my hard-earned scads, he did
not cheerfully refund; his whiskers he began to comb, and tightened up his
cummerbund, and talked until the cows came home. "Those prunes," he said, in
heated terms, "were fresh when taken from the shelf," implying that I put the
worms into the doggone prunes myself. I pulled his ears and tweaked his nose,
and said, "We'll just forget those prunes, but never more, till life shall
close, will I spend here my picayunes." A lot of merchants make that bluff,
"Your money back, if things don't please," but when you call to get the stuff,
they hand you out the same old wheeze. But now and then a merchant bold makes
good and never bats a glim; you say that man's as good as gold, and name your
infant after him.