Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, A CONNUBIAL ECLOGUE, by JOHN GODFREY SAXE


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

A CONNUBIAL ECLOGUE, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Much lately have I thought, my darling wife
Last Line: I've not the proper spirit of a wife!
Subject(s): Marriage; Weddings; Husbands; Wives


HE.

MUCH lately have I thought, my darling wife,
Some simple rules might make our wedded life
As pleasant always as a morn in May;
I merely name it, -- what does Molly say?

SHE.

Agreed, your plan I heartily approve;
Rules would be nice, -- but who shall make them, love?
Nay, do not speak! -- let this the bargain be,
One shall be made by you, and one by me,
Till all are done --

HE.

-- Your plan is surely fair,
In such a work 't is fitting we should share;
And now -- although it matters not a pin --
If you have no objection, I'll begin.

SHE.

Proceed! In making laws I'm little versed;
And as to words, I do not mind the first;
I only claim -- and hold the treasure fast --
My sex's sacred privilege, the last!

HE.

With all my heart. Well, dearest, to begin: --
When by our cheerful hearth our friends drop in,
And I am talking in my brilliant style
(The rest with rapture listening the while)
About the war, -- or anything, in short,
That you're aware is my especial forte, --
Pray don't get up a circle of your own,
And talk of -- bonnets, in an undertone!

SHE.

That's Number One; I'll mind it well, if you
Will do as much, my dear, by Number Two:
When we attend a party or a ball,
Don't leave your Molly standing by the wall,
The helpless victim of the dreariest bore
That ever walked upon a parlor-floor,
While you -- oblivious of your spouse's doom --
Flirt with the girls, -- the gayest in the room!

HE.

When I (although the busiest man alive)
Have snatched an hour to take a pleasant drive,
And say, "Remember, at precisely four
You'll find the carriage ready at the door,"
Don't keep me waiting half an hour or so,
And then declare, "The clock must be too slow!"

SHE.

When you (such things have happened now and then)
Go to the Club with, "I'll be back at ten,"
And stay till two o'clock, you need n't say,
"I really was the first to come away;
'T is very strange how swift the time has passed:
I'm sure, my dear, the clock must be too fast!"

HE.

There -- that will do; what else remains to say
We may consider at a future day;
I'm getting sleepy -- and -- if you have done --

SHE.

Not I! -- this making rules is precious fun;
Now here's another: -- When you paint to me
"That charming woman" you are sure to see,
Don't -- when you praise the virtues she has got --
Name only those you think your wife has not!
And here's a rule I hope you won't forget,
The most important I have mentioned yet, --
Pray mind it well: -- Whenever you incline
To bring your queer companions home to dine,
Suppose, my dear, -- Good Gracious! he's asleep!
Ah! well, -- 't is lucky good advice will keep;
And he shall have it, or, upon my life,
I've not the proper spirit of a wife!





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