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THE CASE OF ALBERT IRVING WILLIAMSON, by                 Poet's Biography
First Line: Now, albert irving williamson was innocent / and young
Last Line: Our hero did not win a single solitary pot.
Alternate Author Name(s): F. P. A.
Subject(s): Fools; Gambling; Innocence; Youth; Idiots; Wagering; Betting

NOW, Albert Irving Williamson was innocent and young;
Nor evil thought was in his mind, nor word upon his tongue.
He drank no alcoholic brews, he smoked no nicotine;
He was about as good a youth as I have ever seen.

But alcohol and nicotine, injurious though they be,
Are utterly irrelevant to Albert's historee.
Still, if I choose to mention things that are irrelevant,
Pray, who are you to censure me or tell me that I can't?

He was, I say, a blameless youth who shunned the sinful deeps;
He never played at marbles with the other boys for keeps;
He never played a gambling game of any kind or sort—
Young Albert Irving Williamson was not at all a sport.

Now Albert chanced to ride upon a Pullman palace smoker
Whose occupants, a rough and vulgar crowd, were playing poker.
"Ah, ha!" then whispered one of them as Albert came in sight,
"Leave us go after this here boob and trim the sucker right."

(I do not hold with talk like that, but it is not this bard's.
It is the verbiage used by such as like to play at cards.)
"Oh, please to play a bit with us," up spake those gambling men,
"Sit in with us till Utica—we're due at seventen."

So Albert Irving Williamson, who knew no single rule
Of poker, played with men who thought that Albert was a fool—
Our Albert Irving Williamson, to whose untutored mind
The nine of straights was just as good as seven of a kind.

Oh, pride it is a parlous thing, and comes before a fall!
The gamblers went for Albert's roll untill they got it all.
In spite of Albert's ignorance, of which there was a lot,
Our hero did not win a single solitary pot.

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