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Classic and Contemporary Poetry
THE MAYOR OF QUEENBOROUGH [QUINBOROUGH], by THOMAS MIDDLETON Poet's Biography
First Line: What raynulph, monk of chester can
Last Line: From the convulsions it hath long endured. [exeunt.
Subject(s): Great Britain - Politics & Government; Tanners And Tanning
First Line: What raynulph, monk of chester can
Last Line: From the convulsions it hath long endured. [exeunt.
Subject(s): Great Britain - Politics & Government; Tanners And Tanning
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
CONSTANTIUS, son of CONSTANTINE.
AURELIUS AMBROSIUS, son of CONSTANTINE.
UTHER PENDRAGON, son of CONSTANTINE.
VORTIGER.
VORTIMER, his son.
DEVONSHIRE, British lord.
STAFFORD, British lord.
GERMANUS, monk.
LUPUS, monk.
HENGIST.
HORSUS.
SIMON, a tanner, Mayor of Queenborough.
AMINADAB, his clerk.
OLIVER, a fustian-weaver.
Glover.
Barber,
Tailor.
Feltmonger.
Button-maker.
Graziers.
Players.
Gentlemen.
Murderers.
Soldiers, Footmen, &c.
CASTIZA, daughter of DEVONSHIRE.
ROXENA, daughter of HENGIST.
Ladies.
RAYNULPH HIGDEN, Monk of Chester, as Chorus.
SCENE—KENT, and other parts of England, with the exception of
the
final scene, which is in Wales.
ACT THE FIRST.
Enter RAYNULPH, as Chorus.
RAY. What Raynulph, monk of Chester, can
Raise from his Polychronicon,
That raiseth him, as works do men,
To see long-parted light agen,
That best may please this round fair ring,
With sparkling diamonds circled in,
I shall produce. If all my powers
Can win the grace of two poor hours,
Well apaid I go to rest.
Ancient stories have been best;
Fashions, that are now called new,
Have been worn by more than you;
Elder times have used the same,
Though these new ones get the name:
So in story what now told
That takes not part with days of old?
Then to approve time's mutual glory,
Join new time's love to old time's story. [Exit.
SCENE I.
Before a Monastery.
Shouts within; then enter VORTIGER, carrying the crown.
Vort. Will that wide-throated beast, the multitude,
Never leave bellowing? Courtiers are ill
Advisèd when they first make such monsters.
How near was I to a sceptre and a crown!
Fair power was even upon me; my desires
Were casting glory, till this forkèd rabble,
With their infectious acclamations,
Poisoned my fortunes for Constantine's sons.
Well, though I rise not king, I'll seek the means
To grow as near to one as policy can,
And choke their expectations.
Enter DEVONSHIRE and STAFFORD.
Now, good lords,
In whose kind loves and wishes I am built
As high as human dignity can aspire,
Are yet those trunks, that have no other souls
But noise and ignorance, something more quiet?
Devon. Nor are they like to be, for aught we gather
There wills are up still; nothing can appease them;
Good speeches are but cast away upon them.
Vort. Then, since necessity and fate withstand me,
I'll strive to enter at a straiter passage.
Your sudden aid and counsels, good my lords.
Staff. They're ours no longer than they do you service.
Enter CONSTANTIUS in the habit of a monk, attended by GERMANUS and
LUPUS: as they are going into the monastery, VORTIGER stays them.
Vort. Vessels of sanctity, be pleased a while
To give attention to the general peace,
Wherein Heaven is served too, though not so purely.
Constantius, eldest son of Constantine,
We here seize on thee for the general good,
And in thy right of birth.
Const. On me! for what, lords?
Vort. The kingdom's government.
Const. O powers of blessedness,
Keep me from growing downwards into earth again!
I hope I'm further on my way than so.
Set forwards!
Vort. You must not.
Const. How!
Vort. I know your wisdom
Will light upon a way to pardon us,
When you shall read in every Briton's brow
The urged necessity of the times.
Const. What necessity can there be in the world,
But prayer and repentance? and that is business
I am about now.
Vort. Hark, afar off still!
We lose and hazard much.—Holy Germanus
And reverend Lupus, with all expedition
Set the crown on him.
Const. No such mark of fortune
Comes near my head.
Vort. My lord, we're forced to rule you.
Const. Dare you receive Heaven's light in at your eyelids,
And offer violence to religion?
Take heed;
The very beam let in to comfort you
May be the fire to burn you. On these knees,
[Kneeling.
Hardened with zealous prayers, I entreat you
Bring not my cares into the world again!
Think with how much unwillingness and anguishA glorified soul parted from the
body
Would to that loathsome jail again return;
With such great pain a well-subdued affection
Re-enters worldly business.
Vort. Good my lord,
I know you cannot lodge so many virtues,
But patience must be one. As low as earth
[Kneeling with DEVONSHIRE and STAFFORD.
We beg the freeness of your own consent,
Which else must be constrained; and time it were
Either agreed or forced. Speak, good my lord,
For you bind up more sins in this delay
Than thousand prayers can absolve again.
Const. Were't but my death, you should not kneel so long for't.
Vort. 'Twill be the death of millions if you rise not
And that betimes too.—Lend your help, my lords,
For fear all come too late.
[They rise and raise CONSTANTIUS.
Const. This is a cruelty
That peaceful man did never suffer yet,
To make me die again, that once was dead,
And begin all that ended long before.
Hold, Lupus and Germanus: you are lights
Of holiness and religion: can you offer
The thing that is not lawful? stand not I
Clear from all temporal charge by my profession?
Ger. Not when a time so violent calls upon you
Who's born a prince, is born for general peace,
Not his own only: Heaven will look for him
In others' acts, and will require him there.
What is in you religious, must be shown
In saving many more souls than your own.
Const. Did not great Constantine, our noble father,
Deem me unfit for government and rule,
And therefore pressed me into this profession?
Which I've held strict, and love it above glory.
Nor is there want of me: yourselves can witness,
Heaven hath provided largely for your peace,
And blessed you with the lives of my two brothers:
Fix your obedience there, leave me a servant.
[They put the Crown on the head of CONSTANTIUS.
All. Long live Constantius, son of Constantine,
King of Great Britain!
Const. I do feel a want
And extreme poverty of joy within;
The peace I had is parted 'mongst rude men;
To keep them quiet, I have lost it all.
What can the kingdom gain by my undoing?
That riches is not best, though it be mighty,
That's purchased by the ruin of another;
Nor can the peace, so filched, e'er thrive with them:
And if't be worthily held sacrilege
To rob a temple, 'tis no less offence
To ravish meditations from the soul,
The consecrated altar in a man:
And all their hopes will be beguiled in me;
I know no more the way to temporal rule,
Than he that's born and has his years come to him
In a rough desert. Well may the weight kill me;
And that's the fairest good I look for from it.
Vort. Not so, great king: here stoops a faithful servant
Would sooner perish under it with cheerfulness,
Than your meek soul should feel oppression
Of ruder cares: such common coarse employments
Cast upon me your servant, upon Vortiger.
I see you are not made for noise and pains,
Clamours of suitors, injuries, and redresses,
Millions of actions, rising with the sun,
Like laws still ending, and yet never done,
Of power to turn a great man to the state
Of his marble monument with over-watching.
To be oppressed is not required of you, my lord,
But only to be king. The broken sleeps
Let me take from you, sir; the toils and troubles,
All that is burthenous in authority,
Please you lay it on me, and what is glorious
Receive't to your own brightness.
Const. Worthy Vortiger,
If 'twere not sin to grieve another's patience
With what we cannot tolerate ourself,
How happy were I in thee and thy love!
There's nothing makes man feel his miseries
But knowledge only: reason, that is placed
For man's director, is his chief afflictor;
For, though I cannot bear the weight myself,
I cannot have that barrenness of remorse,
To see another groan under my burthen.
Vort. I'm quite blown up a conscionable way:
There's even a trick of murdering in some pity.
The death of all my hopes I see already:
There was no other likelihood, for religion
Was never friend of mine yet. [Aside.
Const. Holy partners in strictest abstinence,
Cruel necessity hath forced me from you:
We part, I fear, for ever; but in mind
I will be always here; here let me stay.
Devon. My lord, you know the times.
Const. Farewell, blest souls; I fear I shall offend
He that draws tears from you takes your best friend.
[Exeunt CONSTANTIUS, DEVONSHIRE, and STAFFORD; while LUPUS
and GERMANUS enter the monastery. Vort. Can the great motion of
ambition stand,
Like wheels false wrought by an unskilful hand?
Then, Time, stand thou too: let no hopes arrive
At their sweet wishfulness, till mine set forwards.
Would I could stay thy existence, as I can
Thy glassy counterfeit in hours of sand!
I'd keep thee turned down, till my wishes rose;
Then we'd both rise together.
What several inclinations are in nature!
How much is he disquieted, and wears royalty
Disdainfully upon him, like a curse!
Calls a fair crown the weight of his afflictions!
When here's a soul would sink under the burthen,
Yet well recover't. I will use all means
To vex authority from him, and in all
Study what most may discontent his blood,
Making my mask my zeal to the public good:
Not possible a richer policy
Can have conception in the thought of man.
Enter two Graziers.
1st Graz. An honourable life enclose your lordship!
Vort. Now, what are you?
2nd Graz. Graziers, if't like your lordship.
Vort. So it should seem by your enclosures.
What's your affair with me?
1st Graz. We are your
Petitioners, my lord.
Vort. For what? depart:
Petitioners to me! you've well deserved
My grace and favour. Have you not a ruler
After your own election? hie you to court;
Get near and close, be loud and bold enough,
You cannot choose but speed. [Exit.
2nd Graz. If that will do't,
We have throats wide enough; well put them to't.
[Exeunt.
DUMB SHOW.
FORTUNE discovered, in her hand a round ball full of lots; then enters
HENGIST and HORSUS, with others; they draw lots, and having opened them,
all depart save HENGIST and HORSUS, who kneel and embrace: then
enter
ROXENA, seeming to take leave of HENGIST in great passion, but more
especially and warily of HORSUS, her lover: she departs one way, HENGIST
and HORSUS another.
Enter RAYNULPH.
Ray. When Germany was overgrown
With sons of peace too thickly sown,
Several guides were chosen then
By destined lots, to lead out men;
And they whom Fortune here withstands
Must prove their fates in other lands.
On these two captains fell the lot;
But that which must not be forgot
Was Roxena's cunning grief;
Who from her father, like a thief,
Hid her best and truest tears,
Which her lustful lover wears
In many a stolen and wary kiss,
Unseen of father. Maids do this,
Yet highly scorn to be called strumpets too:
But what they lack of't, I'll be judged by you. [Exit.
SCENE II.
A Hall in the Palace.
Enter VORTIGER, Feltmonger, Button-maker, Glaziers, and other
Petitioners.
Vort. This way his majesty comes.
All. Thank your good lordship.
Vort. When you hear yon door open—
All. Very good, my lord.
Vort. Be ready with your several suits; put forward.
Graz. That's a thing every man does naturally, sir,
That is a suitor, and doth mean to speed.
Vort. 'Tis well you're so deep learned. Take no denials.
All. No, my good lord.
Vort. Not any, if you love
The prosperity of your suits: you mar all utterly,
And overthrow your fruitful hopes for ever,
If either fifth or sixth, nay, tenth repulse
Fasten upon your bashfulness.
All. Say you so, my lord?
We can be troublesome if we list.
Vort. I know it:
I felt it but too late in the general sum
Of your rank brotherhood, which now I thank you for—
While this vexation is in play, I'll study
For a second; then a third to that; one still
To vex another, that he shall be glad
To yield up power; if not, it shall be had.
[Aside and exit.
Butt. Hark! I protest, my heart was coming upwards:
I thought the door had opened.
Graz. Marry, would it had, sir!
Butt. I have such a treacherous heart of my own, 'twill throb at the
very fall of a farthingale.
Graz. Not if it fall on the rushes.
Butt. Yes, truly; if there be no light in the room, I shall throb
presently. The first time it took me, my wife was in the company: I remember
the
room was not half so light as this; but I'll be sworn I was a whole hour in
finding her.
Graz. By'r lady, y'had a long time of throbbing of it then.
Butt. Still I felt men, but I could feel no women; I thought they had
been all sunk. I have made a vow for't, I'll never have meeting, while I live,
by candle-light again.
Graz. Yes, sir, in lanterns.
Butt. Yes, sir, in lanterns; but I'll never trust candle naked again.
Graz. Hark, hark! stand close: it opens now indeed!
Butt. O majesty, what art thou! I'd give any man half my suit to
deliver my petition: it is in the behalf of button-makers, and so it seems by
my
flesh.
Enter CONSTANTIUS in regal attire, and two Gentlemen.
Const. Pray do not follow me, unless you do it
To wonder at my garments; there's no cause
I give you why you should: 'tis shame enough,
Methinks, to look upon myself;
It grieves me that more should. The other weeds
Became me better, but the lords are pleased
To force me to wear these; I would not else:
I pray be satisfied; I called you not.
Wonder of madness! can you stand so idle,
And know that you must die?
1st Gent. We're all commanded, sir;
Besides, it is our duties to your grace,
To give attendance.
Const. What a wild thing is this!
No marvel though you tremble at death's name,
When you'll not see the cause why you are fools.
For charity's sake, desist here, I pray you!
Make not my presence guilty of your sloth:
Withdraw, young men, and find you honest business.
2nd Gent. What hopes have we to rise by following him?
I'll give him over shortly.
1st Gent. He's too nice,
Too holy for young gentlemen to follow
That have good faces and sweet running fortunes.
[Exeunt Gentlemen.
Const. Eight hours a-day in serious contemplation
Is but a bare allowance; no higher food
To the soul than bread and water to the body;
And that's but needful; then more would do better.
Butt. Let us all kneel together; 'twill move pity:
I've been at the begging of a hundred suits.
[All the Petitioners kneel.
Const. How happy am I in the sight of you!
Here are religious souls, that lose not time:
With what devotion do they point at Heaven,
And seem to check me that am too remiss!
I bring my zeal among you, holy men:
If I see any kneel, and I sit out, [Kneels.
That hour is not well spent. Methinks, strict souls,
You have been of some order in your times.
Graz. Graziers and braziers some, and this a felt-maker.
Butt. Here's his petition and mine, if it like your grace. [Giving
petitions.
Graz. Look upon mine, I am the longest suitor; I was undone seven years
ago.
Const. [Rising with the others.] You've mocked my good hopes.
Call
you these petitions?
Why, there's no form of prayer among them all.
Butt. Yes, in the bottom there is half a line
Prays for your majesty, if you look on mine.
Const. Make your requests to Heaven, not to me.
Butt. 'Las! mine's a supplication for brass buttons, sir.
Felt. There's a great enormity in wool; I beseech your grace consider
it.
Graz. Pastures rise two-pence an acre; what will this world come to!
Butt. I do beseech your grace—
Graz. Good your grace—
Const. O, this is one of my afflictions
That with the crown enclosed me! I must bear it.
Graz. Your grace's answer to my supplication.
Butt. Mine, my lord.
Const. No violent storm lasts ever;
This is the comfort of't.
Felt. Your highness's answer.
Graz. We are almost all undone, the country beggared.
Butt. See, see, he points at Heaven, as who should say There's enough
there: but 'tis a great way thither. There's no good to be done, I see that
already; we may all spend our mouths like a company of hounds in chase of a
royal deer, and then go home and fall to cold mutton-bones, when we have done.
Graz. My wife will hang me, that's my currish destiny.
[Exeunt all except CONSTANTIUS.
Const. Thanks, Heaven! 'tis o'er now: we should ne'er know rightly
The sweetness of a calm, but for a storm.
Here's a wished hour for contemplation now;
All's still and silent; here is a true kingdom.
Re-enter VORTIGER.
Vort. My lord.
Const. Again?
Vort. Alas, this is but early
And gentle to the troops of businesses
That flock about authority! you must forthwith
Settle your mind to marry.
Const. How! to marry?
Vort. And suddenly, there's no pause to be given:
The people's wills are violent, and covetous
Of a succession from your loins.
Const. From me
There can come none: a professed abstinence
Hath set a virgin seal upon my blood,
And altered all the course; the heat I have
Is all enclosed within a zeal to virtue,And that's not fit for earthly
propagation.
Alas, I shall but forfeit all their hopes!
I'm a man made without desires, tell them.
Vort. I proved them with such words, but all were fruitless.
A virgin of the highest subject's blood
They have picked out for your embrace, and send her
Blessed with their general wishes, into fruitfulness.
Lo! where she comes, my lord.
Enter CASTIZA.
Const. I never felt
The unhappy hand of misery till this touch:
A patience I could find for all but this.
Cast. My lord, your vowed love ventures me but dangerously.
Vort. 'Tis but to strengthen a vexation politic.
Cast. That's an uncharitable practice, trust me, sir.
Vort. No more of that.
Cast. But say he should affect me, sir,
How should I 'scape him then? I have but one
Faith, my lord, and that you have already;
Our late contràct is a divine witness to't.
Vort. I am not void of shifting-rooms and helps
For all projècts that I commit with you. [Exit.
Cast. This is an ungodly way to come to honour;
I do not like it: I love Lord Vortiger,
But not these practices; they're too uncharitable. [Aside.
Const. Are you a virgin?
Cast. Never yet, my lord,
Known to the will of man.
Const. O blessèd creature!
And does too much felicity make you surfeit?
Are you in soul assured there is a state
Prepared for you, for you, a glorious one,
In midst of Heaven, now in the state you stand in,
And had you rather, after much known misery,
Cares and hard labours, mingled with a curse,
Throng but to the door, and hardly get a place there?
Think, hath the world a folly like this madness?
Keep still that holy and immaculate fire,
You chaste lamp of eternity! 'tis a treasure
Too precious for death's moment to partake,
This twinkling of short life. Disdain as much
To let mortality know you, as stars
To kiss the pavements; you've a substance as
Excellent as theirs, holding your pureness:
They look upon corruption, as you do,
But are stars still; be you a virgin too.
Cast. I'll never marry. What though my truth be engaged
To Vortiger? forsaking all the world
I save it well, and do my faith no wrong.— [Aside.
You've mightily prevailed, great virtuous sir;
I'm bound eternally to praise your goodness:
My thoughts henceforth shall be as pure from man,
As ever made a virgin's name immortal.
Const. I will do that for joy, I never did,
Nor ever will again.
As he kisses her, re-enter VORTIGER and Gentlemen.
1st Gent. My lord, he's taken.
Vort. I'm sorry for't, I like not that so well;
They're something too familiar for their time, methinks.
This way of kissing is no way to vex him:
Why I, that have a weaker faith and patience,
Could endure more than that, coming from a woman.
Despatch, and bring his answer speedily. [Exit.
1st Gent. My lord, my gracious lord!
Const. Beshrew thy heart!
2nd Gent. They all attend your grace.
Const. I would not have them:
'Twould please me better, if they'd all depart,
And leave me to myself; or put me out,
And take it to themselves.
1st Gent. The noon is past;
Meat's on the table.
Const. Meat! away, get from me;
Thy memory is diseased; what saint's eve's this?
1st Gent. Saint Agatha's, I take it.
Const. Is it so?
I am not worthy to be served before her;
And so return, I pray.
2nd Gent. He'll starve the guard, if this be suffered; if we set
court
bellies by a monastery clock, he that breaks a fellow's pate now, will not be
able to crack a louse within this twelvemonth. [Aside and exeunt
Gentlemen.
Const. 'Tis sure forgetfulness, and not man's will,
That leads him forth into licentious ways;
We cannot certainly commit such errors,
And think upon them truly as they're acting.
Why's abstinence ordained, but for such seasons?
Re-enter VORTIGER.
Vort. My lord, you've pleased to put us to much pains,
But we confess 'tis portion of our duty.
Will your grace please to walk? dinner stays for you.
Const. I've answered that already.
Vort. But, my lord,
We must not so yield to you: pardon me,
'Tis for the general good: you must be ruled, sir;
Your health and life is dearer to us now:
Think where you are, at court: this is no monastery.
Const. But, sir, my conscience keeps still where it was:
I may not eat this day.
Vort. We've sworn you shall,
And plentifully too: we must preserve you, sir,
Though you be wilful; 'tis no slight condition
To be a king.
Const. Would I were less than man!
Vort. You will make the people rise, my lord,
In great despair of your continuance,
If you neglect the means that must sustain you.
Const. I never eat on eves.
Vort. But now you must;
It concerns others' healths that you take food:
I've changed your life, you well may change your mood.
Const. This is beyond all cruelty.
Vort. 'Tis our care, my lord. [Exeunt.
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.
A Room in the Palace.
Enter VORTIGER and CASTIZA.
CAST. My lord, I am resolved; tempt me no farther;
'Tis all to fruitless purpose.
Vort. Are you well?
Cast. Never so perfect in the truth of health
As at this instant.
Vort. Then I doubt my own,
Or that I am not waking.
Cast. Would you were then!
You'd praise my resolution.
Vort. This is wondrous!
Are you not mine by contract?
Cast. 'Tis most true, my lord,
And I am better blessed in't than I looked for,
In that I am confined in faith so strictly:
I'm bound, my lord, to marry none but you,—
You'll grant me that,—and you I'll never marry.
Vort. It draws me into violence and hazard:
I saw you kiss the king.
Cast. I grant you so, sir;
Where could I take my leave of the world better?
I wronged not you in that; you will acknowledge
A king is the best part of't.
Vort. O, my passion!
Cast. I see you something yielding to infirmity, sir;
I take my leave.
Vort. Why, 'tis not possible!
Cast. The fault is in your faith; time I were gone
To give it better strengthening.
Vort. Hark you, lady—
Cast. Send your intent to the next monastery;
There you shall find my answer ever after;
And so with my last duty to your lordship,
For whose prosperity I will pray as heartily
As for my own. [Exit.
Vort. How am I served in this?
I offer a vexation to the king;
He sends it home into my blood with vantage.
I'll put off time no longer: I have brought him
Into most men's neglects, calling his zeal
A deep pride hallowed over, love of ease
More than devotion or the public benefit;
Which catcheth many men's beliefs. I'm strong too
In people's wishes; their affections point at me.
I lose much time and glory; that redeemed,
She that now flies returns with joy and wonder:
Greatness and woman's wish ne'er keep asunder. [Exit.
DUMB SHOW.
Enter two Villains; to them VORTIGER, who seems to solicit them with
gold, then swears them, and exit. Enter CONSTANTIUS meditating; they
rudely
strike down his book, and draw their swords; he kneels and spreads his arms;
they kill him, and hurry off the body. Enter VORTIGER, DEVONSHIRE, and
STAFFORD, in conference; to them the two Villains presenting the
head of
CONSTANTIUS; VORTIGER seems sorrowful, and in rage stabs them both. Then the
lords crown VORTIGER, and fetch in CASTIZA, who comes unwillingly;
VORTIGER hales her, and they crown her: AURELIUS and UTHER, brothers
of CONSTANTIUS, seeing him crowned, draw and fly.
Enter RAYNULPH.
Ray. When nothing could prevail to tire
The good king's patience, they did hire
Two wicked rogues to take his life;
In whom a while there fell a strife
Of pity and fury; but the gold
Made pity faint, and fury bold.
Then to Vortiger they bring
The head of that religious king;
Who feigning grief, to clear his guilt,
Makes the slaughterers' blood be spilt.
Then crown they him, and force the maid,
That vowed a virgin-life, to wed;
Such a strength great power extends,
It conquers fathers, kindred, friends,
And since fate's pleased to change her life,
She proves as holy in a wife.
More to tell, were to betray
What deeds in their own tongues must say:
Only this, the good king dead,
The brothers poor in safety fled. [Exit
SCENE II.
A Hall in the Palace
Enter VORTIGER crowned, a Gentleman meeting him.
Gent. My lord!
Vort. I fear thy news will fetch a curse, it comes
With such a violence.
Gent. The people are up
In arms against you.
Vort. O this dream of glory!
Sweet power, before I can have time to taste thee,
Must I for ever lose thee?—What's the imposthume
That swells them now?
Gent. The murder of Constantius.
Vort. Ulcers of realms! they hated him alive,
Grew weary of the minute of his reign,
Called him an evil of their own electing.
And is their ignorant zeal so fiery now,
When all their thanks are cold? the mutable hearts
That move in their false breasts!—Provide me safety:
[Noise within.
Hark! I hear ruin threaten me with a voice
That imitates thunder.
Enter 2nd Gentleman.
2nd Gent. Where's the king?
Vort. Who takes him?
2nd Gent. Send peace to all your royal thoughts, my lord:
A fleet of valiant Saxons newly landed
Offer the truth of all their service to you.
Vort. Saxons! my wishes: let them have free entrance.
And plenteous welcomes from all hearts that love us;
[Exit 2nd Gentleman.
They never could come happier.
Re-enter 2nd Gentleman with HENGIST, HORSUS, and Soldiers.
Heng. Health, power, and victory to Vortiger!
Vort. There can be no more pleasure to a king,
If all the languages earth spake were ransacked.
Your names I know not; but so much good fortune
And warranted worth lightens your fair aspècts,
I cannot but in arms of love enfold you.
Heng. The mistress of our birth's hope, fruitful Germany,
Calls me Hengistus, and this captain Horsus;
A man low-built, but yet in deeds of arms
Flame is not swifter. We are all, my lord,
The sons of Fortune; she has sent us forth
To thrive by the red sweat of our own merits;
And since, after the rage of many a tempest,
Our fates have cast us upon Britain's bounds,
We offer you the first-fruits of our wounds.
Vort. Which we shall dearly prize: the mean'st blood spent
Shall at wealth's fountain make its own content.
Heng. You double vigour in us then, my lord:
Pay is the soul of such as thrive by the sword. [Exeunt.
SCENE III.
Near the Palace.
Enter VORTIGER and Gentlemen. Alarm and noise of skirmishes within.
1st Gent. My lord, these Saxons bring a fortune with them
Stays any Roman success.
Vort. On, speak, forwards!
I will not take one minute from thy tidings.
1st Gent. The main supporters of this insurrection
They've taken prisoners, and the rest so tamed,
They stoop to the least grace that flows from mercy.
Vort. Never came power guided by better stars
Than these men's fortitudes: yet they're misbelievers,
Which to my reason is wondrous.
Enter HENGIST, HORSUS, and Soldiers, with Prisoners.
You've given me such a first taste of your worth,
'Twill never from my love; when life is gone,
The memory sure will follow, my soul still
Participating immortality with it.
But here's the misery of earth's limited glory,
There's not a way revealed to any honour
Above the fame which your own merits give you.
Heng. Indeed, my lord, we hold, when all's summed up
That can be made for worth to be expressed,
The fame that a man wins himself is best;
That he may call his own. Honours put to him
Make him no more a man than his clothes do,
And are as soon ta'en off; for in the warmth
The heat comes from the body, not the weeds:
So man's true fame must strike from his own deeds.
And since by this event which fortune speaks us,
The land appears the fair predestined soil
Ordained for our good hap, we crave, my lord,
A little earth to thrive on, what you please,
Where we'll but keep a nursery of good spirits
To fight for you and yours.
Vort. Sir, for our treasure,
'Tis open to your merits, as our love;
But for ye're strangers in religion chiefly—
Which is the greatest alienation can be,
And breeds most factions in the bloods of men—
I must not yield to that.
Enter SIMON with a hide.
Heng. 'Sprecious, my lord,
I see a pattern; be it but so little
As you poor hide will compass.
Vort. How, the hide!
Heng. Rather than nothing, sir.
Vort. Since you're so reasonable,
Take so much in the best part of our kingdom.
Heng. We thank your grace.
[Exit VORTIGER with Gentlemen.
Rivers from bubbling springs
Have rise at first, and great from abject things.
Stay yonder fellow: he came luckily,
And he shall fare well for't, whate'er he be;
We'll thank our fortune in rewarding him.
Hor. Stay, fellow!
Sim. How, fellow? 'tis more than you know, whether
I be your fellow or no; I am sure you see me not.
Heng. Come, what's the price of your hide?
Sim. O unreasonable villain! he would buy the house over a man's
head.
I'll be sure now to make my bargain wisely; they may buy me out of my
skin else.
[Aside.]—Whose hide would you buy, mine or the beast's?
There is little
difference in their complexions: I think mine is the blacker of the two: you
shall see for your love, and buy for your money.—A pestilence on you all,
how have you deceived me; you buy an ox-hide! you buy a calf's gather! They
are
all hungry soldiers, and I took them for honest shoemakers. [Aside.
Heng. Hold, fellow; prithee, hold;—right a fool worldling
That kicks at all good fortune; whose man art thou?
Sim. I am a servant, yet a masterless man, sir.
Heng. Prithee, how can that be?
Sim. Very nimbly, sir; my master is dead, and now I serve my
mistress;
ergo, I am a masterless man: she is now a widow, and I am the foreman of her
tan-pit.
Heng. Hold you, and thank your fortune, not your wit. [Gives him
money.
Sim. Faith, and I thank your bounty, and not your wisdom; you are not
troubled with wit neither greatly, it seems. Now, by this light, a nest of
yellow-hammers; What will become of me? if I can keep all these
without hanging
myself, I am happier than a hundred of my neighbours. You shall have my skin
into the bargain; then if I chance to die like a dog, the labour will be saved
of flaying me: I'll undertake, sir, you shall have all the skins in our parish
at this price, men's and women's.
Heng. Sirrah, give good ear to me: now take the hide
And cut it all into the slenderest thongs
That can bear strength to hold.
Sim. That were a jest, i'faith: spoil all the leather? sin and pity!
why, 'twould shoe half your army.
Heng. Do it, I bid you.
Sim. What, cut it all in thongs? Hum, this is like the vanity of your
Roman gallants, that cannot wear good suits, but they must have them cut and
slashed in giggets, that the very crimson taffaties sit blushing at their
follies. I would I might persuade you from this humour of cutting; 'tis but a
swaggering condition, and nothing profitable: what if it were but well pinked?
'twould last longer for a summer suit.
Heng. What a cross lump of ignorance have I lighted on!
I must be forced to beat my drift into him.— [Aside.
Look you, to make you wiser than your parents,
I have so much ground given me as this hide
Will compass, which, as it is, is nothing.
Sim. Nothing, quotha?
Why, 'twill not keep a hog.
Heng. Now with the vantage
Cut into several pieces, 'twill stretch far,
And make a liberal circuit.
Sim. A shame on your crafty hide! is this your cunning? I have learnt
more knavery now than ever I shall claw off while I live. I'll go purchase
land
by cow-tails, and undo the parish; three good bulls' pizzles would set up
a man
for ever: this is like a pin a-day to set up a haberdasher of small wares.
Heng. Thus men that mean to thrive, as we, must learn
Set in a foot at first.
Sim. A foot do you call it? The devil is in that foot that takes up
all
this leather.
Heng. Despatch, and cut it carefully with all
The advantage, sirrah.
Sim. You could never have lighted upon such a fellow to serve your
turn, captain. I have such a trick of stretching, too! I learned it of a
tanner's man that was hanged last sessions at Maidstone: I'll warrant you,
I'll
get you a mile and a half more than you're aware of.
Heng. Pray, serve me so as oft as you will, sir.
Sim. I am casting about for nine acres to make a garden-plot out
of one
of the buttocks.
Heng. 'Twill be a good soil for nosegays.
Sim. 'Twill be a good soil for cabbages, to stuff out the guts
of your
followers there.
Heng. Go, see it carefully performed:
[Exit SIMON with Soldiers.
It is the first foundation of our fortunes
On Britain's earth, and ought to be embraced
With a respect near linked to adoration.
Methinks it sounds to me a fair assurance
Of large honours and hopes; does it not, captain?
Hor. How many have begun with less at first,
That have had emperors from their bodies sprung,
And left their carcasses as much in monument
As would erect a college!
Heng. There's the fruits
Of their religious show too; to lie rotting
Under a million spent in gold and marble.
Hor. But where shall we make choice of our ground, captain?
Heng. About the fruitful flanks of uberous Kent,
A fat and olive soil; there we came in.
O captain, he has given he knows not what!
Hor. Long may he give so!
Heng. I tell thee, sirrah, he that begged a field
Of fourscore acres for a garden-plot,
Twas pretty well; but he came short of this.
Hor. Send over for more Saxons.
Heng. With all speed, captain.
Hor. Especially for Roxena.
Heng. Who, my daughter?
Hor. That star of Germany, forget not her, sir:
She is a fair fortunate maid.—
Fair she is, and fortunate may she be,
But in maid lost for ever. My desire
Has been the close confusion of that name.
A treasure 'tis, able to make more thieves
Than cabinets set open to entice;
Which learn them theft that never knew the vice. [Aside.
Heng. Come, I'll despatch with speed.
Hor. Do, forget none.
Heng. Marry, pray help my memory.
Hor. Roxena, you remember?
Heng. What more, dear sir?
Hor. I see your memory's clear, sir. [Shouts within.
Heng. Those shouts leaped from our army.
Hor. They were too cheerful
To voice a bad event.
Enter a Gentleman.
Heng. Now, sir, your news?
Gent. Roxena the fair—
Heng. True, she shall be sent for.
Gent. She's here, sir.
Heng. What say'st?
Gent. She's come, sir.
Hor. A new youth
Begins me o'er again. [Aside.
Gent. Followed you close, sir,
With such a zeal as daughter never equalled;
Exposed herself to all the merciless dangers
Set in mankind or fortune; not regarding
Aught but your sight.
Heng. Her love is infinite to me.
Hor. Most charitably censured; 'tis her cunning,
The love of her own lust, which makes a woman
Gallop down hill as fearless as a drunkard.
There's no true loadstone in the world but that;
It draws them through all storms by sea or shame:
Life's loss is thought too small to pay that game. [Aside.
Gent. What follows more of her will take you strongly
Heng. How!
Gent. Nay, 'tis worth your wonder.
Her heart, joy-ravished with your late success,
Being the early morning of your fortunes,
So prosperously new opening at her coming,
She takes a cup of gold, and, midst the army,
Teaching her knee a reverend cheerfulness,
Which well became her, drank a liberal health
To the king's joys and yours, the king in presence;
Who with her sight, but her behaviour chiefly,
Or chief but one or both, I know not which,—
But he's so far 'bove my expression caught,
'Twere art enough for one man's time and portion
To speak him and miss nothing.
Heng. This is astonishing!
Hor. O, this ends bitter now! our close-hid flame
Will break out of my heart; I cannot keep it. [Aside.
Heng. Gave you attention, captain? how now, man?
Hor. A kind of grief 'bout these times of the moon still:
I feel a pain like a convulsion,
A cramp at heart; I know not what name fits it.
Heng. Nor never seek one for it, let it go
Without a name; would all griefs were served so!
Flourish. Re-enter VORTIGER, with ROXENA and Attendants.
Hor. A love-knot already? arm in arm! [Aside.
Vort. What's he
Lays claim to her?
Heng. In right of fatherhood
I challenge an obedient part.
Vort. Take it,
And send me back the rest.
Heng, What means your grace?
Vort. You'll keep no more than what belongs to you?
Heng. That's all, my lord; it all belongs to me;
I keep the husband's interest till he come:
Yet out of duty and respect to majesty,
I send her back your servant.
Vort. My mistress, sir, or nothing.
Heng. Come again;
I never thought to hear so ill of thee.
Vort. How, sir, so ill?
Heng. So beyond detestable.
To be an honest vassal is some calling,
Poor is the worst of that, shame comes not to't;
But mistress, that's the only common bait
Fortune sets at all hours, catching whore with it,
And plucks them up by clusters. There's my sword, my lord; [Offering his
sword
to VORTIGER.
And if your strong desires aim at my blood,
Which runs too purely there, a nobler way
Quench it in mine.
Vort. I ne'er took sword in vain:
Hengist, we here create thee Earl of Kent.
Hor. O, that will do't! [Aside, and falls.
Vort. What ails our friend? look to him.
Rox. O, 'tis his epilepsy; I know it well:
I helped him once in Germany; comes it again?
A virgin's right hand stroked upon his heart
Gives him ease straight; but it must be a pure virgin,
Or else it brings no comfort.
Vort. What a task
She puts upon herself, unurgèd purity!
The truth of this will bring love's rage into me.
Rox. O, this would mad a woman! there's no proof
In love to indiscretion.
Hor. Pish! this cures not.
Rox. Dost think I'll ever wrong thee?
Hor. O, most feelingly!
But I'll prevent it now, and break thy neck
With thy own cunning. Thou has undertaken
To give me help, to bring in royal credit
Thy cracked virginity, but I'll spoil all:
I will not stand on purpose, though I could,
But fall still to disgrace thee.
Rox. What, you will not?
Hor. I have no other way to help myself;
For when thou'rt known to be a whore imposterous,
I shall be sure to keep thee.
Rox. O sir, shame me not!
You've had what is most precious; try my faith;
Undo me not at first in chaste opinion.
Hor. All this art shall not make me feel my legs.
Rox. I prithee, do not wilfully confound me.
Hor. Well, I'm content for this time to recover,
To save thy credit, and bite in my pain;
But if thou ever fail'st me, I will fall,
And thou shalt never get me up again. [Rises.
Rox. Agreed 'twixt you and I, sir.—See, my lord,
A poor maid's work! the man may pass for health now
Among the clearest bloods, and those are nicest.
Vort. I've heard of women brought men on their knees,
But few that e'er restored them.—How now, captain.
Hor. My lord, methinks I could do things past man
I'm so renewed in vigour; I long most
For violent exercise to take me down:
My joy's so high in blood, I'm above frailty.
Vort. My lord of Kent.
Heng. Your love's unworthy creature.
Vort. See'st thou this fair chain? think upon the means
To keep it linked for ever.
Heng. O my lord,
'Tis many degrees sundered from my hope!
Besides, your grace has a young virtuous queen.
Vort. I say, think on it.
Hor. If this wind hold, I fall to my old disease.
[Aside.
Vort. There's no fault in thee but to come so late:
All else is excellent: I chide none but fate. [Exeunt.
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
A Room in the Palace.
Enter HORSUS and ROXENA.
ROX. I've no conceit now that you ever loved me,
But as lust led you for the time.
Hor. See, see!
Rox. Do you pine at my advancement, sir?
Hor. O barrenness
Of understanding! what a right love's this!
'Tis you that fall, I that am reprehended:
What height of honours, eminence of fortune,
Should ravish me from you?
Rox. Who can tell that, sir?
What's he can judge of a man's appetite
Before he sees him eat?
Who knows the strength of any's constancy
That never yet was tempted? We can call
Nothing our own, if they be deeds to come;
They're only ours when they are passed and done.
How blest are you above your apprehension,
If your desire would lend you so much patience,
To examine the adventurous condition
Of our affections, which are full of hazard,
And draw in the time's goodness to defend us!
First, this bold course of ours cannot last long,
Nor ever does in any without shame,
And that, you know, brings danger; and the greater
My father is in blood, as he's well risen,
The greater will the storm of his rage be
'Gainst his blood's wronging: I have cast for this.
'Tis not advancement that I love alone;
'Tis love of shelter, to keep shame unknown.
Hor. O, were I sure of thee, as 'tis impossible
There to be ever sure where there's no hold,
Your pregnant hopes should not be long in rising!
Rox. By what assurance have you held me thus far,
Which you found firm, despair you not in that.
Hor. True, that was good security for the time;
But in a change of state, when you're advanced,
You women have a French toy in your pride,
You make your friend come crouching: or perhaps,
To bow in the hams the better, he is put
To compliment three hours with your chief woman,
Then perhaps not admitted; no, nor ever,
That's the more noble fashion. Forgetfulness
Is the most pleasing virtue they can have,
That do spring up from nothing; for by the same
Forgetting all, they forget whence they came,
An excellent property of oblivion.
Rox. I pity all the fortunes of poor women
In my own unhappiness. When we have given
All that we have to men, what's our requital?
An ill-faced jealousy, that resembles much
The mistrustfulness of an insatiate thief,
That scarce believes he has all, though he has stripped
The true man naked, and left nothing on him
But the hard cord that binds him: so are we
First robbed, and then left bound by jealousy.
Take reason's advice, and you'll find it impossible
For you to lose me in this king's advancement,
Who's an usurper here; and as the kingdom,
So shall he have my love by usurpation;
The right shall be in thee still. My ascension
To dignity is but to waft thee higher;
And all usurpers have the falling-sickness,
They cannot keep up long.
Hor. May credulous man
Put all his confidence in so weak a bottom,
And make a saving voyage?
Rox. Nay, as gainful
As ever man yet made.
Hor. Go, take thy fortunes,
Aspire with my consent,
So thy ambition will be sure to prosper;
Speak the fair certainties of Britain's queen
Home to thy wishes.
Rox. Speak in hope I may,
But not in certainty.
Hor. I say in both:
Hope, and be sure I'll soon remove the let
That stands between thee and glory.
Rox. Life of love!
If lost virginity can win such a day,
I'll have no daughter but shall learn my way. [Exit.
Hor. 'Twill be good work for him that first instructs them:
May be some sons of mine, got by this woman too,
May match with their own sisters. Peace, 'tis he.
Enter VORTIGER.
Invention, fail me not: 'tis a gallant credit
To marry one's whore bravely. [Aside.
Vort. Have I power
Of life and death, and cannot command ease
In my own blood? After I was a king,
I thought I never should have felt pain more;
That there had been a ceasing of all passions
And common stings, which subjects use to feel,
That were created with a patience fit
For all extremities. But such as we
Know not the way to suffer; then to do it
How most preposterous 'tis! Tush, riddles, riddles!
I'll break through custom. Why should not the mind,
The nobler part that's of us, be allowed
Change of affections, as our bodies are
Change of food and raiment? I'll have it so.
All fashions appear strange at first production;
But this would be well followed.—O, captain!
Hor. My lord, I grieve for you; I scarce fetch breath,
But a sigh hangs at the end of it: but this
Is not the way, if you'd give way to counsel.
Vort. Set me right, then, or I shall heavily curse thee
For lifting up my understanding to me,
To show that I was wrong. Ignorance is safe;
I then slept happily: if knowledge mend me not,
Thou hast committed a most cruel sin,
To wake me into judgment, and then leave me.
Hor. I will not leave you, sir; that were rudely done.
First, you've a flame too open and too violent,
Which, like blood-guiltiness in an offender,
Betrays him when nought else can. Out with't, sir;
Or let some cunning coverture be made
Before your practice enters: 'twill spoil all else.
Vort. Why, look you, sir; I can be as calm as silence
All the while music plays. Strike on, sweet friend,
As mild and merry as the heart of innocence;
I prithee, take my temper. Has a virgin
A heat more modest?
Hor. He does well to ask me;
I could have told him once. [Aside.]—Why, here's a government!
There's not a sweeter amity in friendship
Than in this league 'twixt you and health.
Vort. Then since
Thou find'st me capable of happiness,
Instruct me with the practice.
Hor. What will you say, my lord,
If I ensnare her in an act of lust?
Vort. O, there were art to the life! but 'tis impossible;
I prithee, flatter me no further with it.
Fie! so much sin as goes to make up that
Will ne'er prevail with her. Why, I'll tell you, sir,
She's so sin-killing modest, that if only
To move the question were enough adultery
To cause a separation, there's no gallant
So brassy-impudent durst undertake
The words that shall belong to't.
Hor. Say you so, sir?
There's nothing made in the world but has a way to't;
Though some be harder than the rest to find,
Yet one there is, that's certain; and I think
I've took the course to light on't.
Vort. O, I pray for't!
Hor. I heard you lately say (from whence, my lord,
My practice received life first), that your queen
Still consecrates her time to contemplation,
Takes solitary walks.
Vort. Nay, late and early
Commands her weak guard from her, which are but
Women at strongest.
Hor. I like all this, my lord:
And now, sir, you shall know what net is used
In many places to catch modest women,
Such as will never yield by prayers or gifts.
Now there be some will catch up men as fast;
But those she-fowlers nothing concern us;
Their birding is at windows; ours abroad,
Where ring-doves should be caught, that's married wives,
Or chaste maids; what the appetite has a mind to.
Vort. Make no pause then.
Hor. The honest gentlewoman,
When nothing will prevail—I pity her now—
Poor soul, she's enticed forth by her own sex
To be betrayed to man; who in some garden-house
Or remote walk, taking his lustful time,
Binds darkness on her eye-lids, surprises her;
And having a coach ready, turns her in,
Hurrying her where he list for the sin's safety,
Making a rape of honour without words;
And at the low ebb of his lust, perhaps
Some three days after, sends her coached again
To the same place; and, which would make most mad,
She's robbed of all, yet knows not where she's robbed,
There's the dear precious mischief!
Vort. Is this practised?
Hor. Too much, my lord, to be so little known;
A springe to catch a maidenhead after sunset,
Clip it, and send it home again to the city,
There 'twill ne'er be perceived.
Vort. My raptures want expression: I conceit
Enough to make me fortunate, and thee great.
Hor. I praise it then, my lord.—I knew 'twould take.
[Aside.] [Exeunt.
SCENE II.
Grounds near the Palace.
Enter CASTIZA with a book, and two Ladies.
Cast. Methinks you live strange lives; when I see it not,
It grieves me less; you know how to ease me then:
If you but knew how well I loved your absence,
You would bestow't upon me without asking.
1st Lady. Faith, for my part, were it no more for ceremony than for
love, you should walk long enough without my attendance; and so think all my
fellows, though they say nothing. Books in women's hands are as much against
the
hair, methinks, as to see men wear stomachers, or night-rails.—She that ha
s
the green-sickness, and should follow her counsel, would die like an ass, and
go
to the worms like a salad; not I: so long as such a creature as man is made,
she
is a fool that knows not what he is good for. [Exeunt Ladies.
Cast. Though among life's elections, that of virgin
I did speak noblest of, yet it has pleased the king
To send me a contented blessedness
In that of marriage, which I ever doubted.
Enter VORTIGER and HORSUS disguised.
I see the king's affection was a true one;
It lasts and holds out long, that's no mean virtue
In a commanding man; though in great fear
At first I was enforced to venture on it.
Vort. All's happy, clear, and safe.
Hor. The rest comes gently on.
Vort. Be sure you seize on her full sight at first,
For fear of my discovery.
Hor. Now, fortune, and I am sped.
[Seizes and blindfolds CASTIZA.
Cast. Treason! treason!
Hor. Sirrah, how stand you? prevent noise and clamour,
Or death shall end thy service.
Vort. A sure cunning. [Aside.
Cast. O, rescue! rescue!
Hor. Dead her voice! away, make speed!
Cast. No help? no succour?
Hor. Louder yet, extend
Your voice to the last rack; you shall have leave now,
You're far from any pity.
Cast. What's my sin?
Hor. Contempt of man; and he's a noble creature,
And takes it in ill part to be despised.
Cast. I never despised any.
Hor. No? you hold us
Unworthy to be loved; what call you that?
Cast. I have a lord disproves you.
Hor. Pish! your lord?
You're bound to love your lord, that's no thanks to you;
You should love those you are not tied to love,
That's the right trial of a woman's charity.
Cast. I know not what you are, nor what my fault is:
If it be life you seek, whate'er you be,
Use no immodest words, and take it from me;
You kill me more in talking sinfully
Than acting cruelty: be so far pitiful,
To end me without words.
Hor. Long may you live!
'Tis the wish of a good subject: 'tis not life
That I thirst after; loyalty forbid
I should commit such treason: you mistake me,
I've no such bloody thought; only your love
Shall content me.
Cast. What said you, sir?
Hor. Thus plainly,
To strip my words as naked as my purpose,
I must and will enjoy thee. [She faints.]—Gone already?
Look to her, bear her up, she goes apace;
I feared this still, and therefore came provided.
There's that will fetch life from a dying spark,
And make it spread a furnace; she's well straight.
[Pours drops from a vial into CASTIZA'S mouth.
Pish, let her go; she stands, upon my knowledge,
Or else she counterfeits; I know the virtue.
Cast. Never did sorrows in afflicted woman
Meet with such cruelties, such hard-hearted ways
Human invention never found before:
To call back life to live, is but ill taken
By some departing souls; then to force mine back
To an eternal act of death in lust,
What is it but most execrable?
Hor. So, so:
But this is from my business. List to me:
Here you are now far from all hope of friendship,
Save what you make in me; 'scape me you cannot,
Send your soul that assurance; that resolved on,
You know not who I am, nor ever shall,
I need not fear you then; but give consent,
Then with the faithfulness of a true friend
I'll open myself to you, fall your servant,
As I do now in hope, proud of submission,
And seal the deed up with eternal secrecy;
Not death shall pluck't from me, much less the king's
Authority or torture.
Vort. I admire him. [Aside.
Cast. O sir! whate'er you are, I teach my knee
Thus to requite you, be content to take [Kneels.
Only my sight, as ransom for my honour,
And where you have but mocked my eyes with darkness,
Pluck them quite out; all outward lights of body
I'll spare most willingly, but take not from me
That which must guide me to another world,
And leave me dark for ever; fast without
That cursèd pleasure, which will make two souls
Endure a famine everlastingly.
Hor. This almost moves. [Aside.
Vort. By this light he'll be taken! [Aside.
Hor. I'll wrestle down all pity. [Aside.]—What! will you
consent?
Cast. I'll never be so guilty.
Hor. Farewell words then!
You hear no more of me; but thus I seize you.
Cast. O, if a power above be reverenced by thee,
I bind thee by that name, by manhood, nobleness.
And all the charms of honour!
[VORTIGER snatches her up, and carries her off.
Hor. Ah, ha! here's one caught
For an example: never was poor lady
So mocked into false terror; with what anguish
She lies with her own lord! now she could curse
All into barrenness, and beguile herself by't.
Conceit's a powerful thing, and is indeed
Placed as a palate to taste grief or love,
And as that relishes, so we approve;
Hence comes it that our taste is so beguiled,
Changing pure blood for some that's mixed and soiled.
[Exit.
SCENE III.
A Chamber in a Castle.
Enter HENGIST.
Hen. A fair and fortunate constellation reigned
When we set foot here; for from his first gift
(Which to a king's unbounded eyes seemed nothing),
The compass of a hide, I have erected
A strong and spacious castle, yet contained myself
Within my limits, without check or censure.
Thither, with all the observance of a subject,
The liveliest witness of a grateful mind,
I purpose to invite him and his queen,
And feast them nobly.
Barber. [Without.] We will enter, sir;
'Tis a state business, of a twelve-month long,
The choosing of a mayor.
Hen. What noise is that?
Tailor. [Without.] Sir, we must speak with the good Earl of Kent:
Though we were ne'er brought up to keep a door,
We are as honest, sir, as some that do.
Enter a Gentleman.
Hen. Now, sir, what's the occasion of their clamours
Gent. Please you, my lord, a company of townsmen
Are bent, 'gainst all denials and resistance,
To have speech with your lordship; and that you
Must end a difference, which none else can do.
Hen. Why, then there's reason in their violence,
Which I ne'er looked for: first let in but one,
And as we relish him, the rest come on.
[Exit Gentleman.
'Tis no safe wisdom in a rising man
To slight off such as these; nay, rather these
Are the foundations of a lofty work;
We cannot build without them, and stand sure.
He that ascends first to a mountain's top
Must begin at the foot.
Re-enter Gentleman.
Now, sir, who comes?
Gent. They cannot yet agree, my lord, of that:
They say 'tis worse now than it was before,
For where the difference was but between two,
Upon this coming first they're all at odds.
One says, he shall lose his place in the church by't;
Another will not do his wife that wrong;
And by their good wills they would all come first.
The strife continues in most heat, my lord,
Between a country barber and a tailor
Of the same town: and which your lordship names,
'Tis yielded by consent that he shall enter.
Heng. Here's no sweet coil! I'm glad they are so reasonable.
Call in the barber; [Exit Gentleman.] if the tale be long,
He'll cut it short, I trust; that's all the hope.
Re-enter Gentleman with Barber.
Now, sir, are you the barber?
Barb. O, most barbarous! a corrector of enormities in hair, my lord;
a
promoter of upper lips, or what your lordship, in the neatness of your
discretion, shall think fit to call me.
Heng. Very good, I see you have this without book; but what's your
business?
Barb. Your lordship comes to a very high point indeed; the business,
sir, lies about the head.
Heng. That's work for you.
Barb. No, my good lord, there is a corporation, a body, a kind of
body.
Heng. The barber is out at the body; let in the tailor. [Exit
Gentleman.
This 'tis to reach beyond your own profession;
When your let go your head, you lose your memory:
You have no business with the body.
Barb. Yes, sir, I am a barber-chirurgeon; I have had something to do
with it in my time, my lord; and I was never so out of the body as I have been
of late: send me good luck, I'll marry some whore but I'll get in again.
Re-enter Gentleman with Tailor.
Heng. Now, sir, a good discovery come from you!
Tail. I will rip up the linings to your lordship,
And show what stuff 'tis made of: for the body
Or corporation—
Heng. There the barber left indeed.
Tail. 'Tis pieced up of two fashions.
Heng. A patched town the whilst.
Tail. Nor can we go through stitch, my noble lord,
The choler is so great in the one party:
And as in linsey-woolsey wove together,
One piece makes several suits, so, upright earl,
Our linsey-woolsey hearts make all this coil.
Heng. What's all this now? I'm ne'er the wiser yet.—
Call in the rest.
[Exit Gentleman, and re-enter with Glover and
others.
Now, sirs,—what are you?
Glov. Sir-reverence on your lordship, I am a glover.
Heng. What needs that then?
Glov. Sometimes I deal in dog's leather, sir-reverence the while.
Heng. Well, to the purpose, if there be any towards.
Glov. I were an ass else, saving your lordship's presence.
We have a body, but our town wants a hand,
A hand of justice, a worshipful master mayor.
Heng. This is well handled yet; a man may take some hold on
it.—You want a mayor?
Glov. Right, but there's two at fisty-cuffs about it;
Sir, as I may say, at daggers drawing,—
But that I cannot say, because they have none,—
And you being Earl of Kent, our town does say,
Your lordship's voice shall part and end the fray.
Heng. This is strange work for me. Well, sir, what be they?
Glov. The one is a tanner.
Heng. Fie, I shall be too partial,
I owe too much affection to that trade
To put it to my voice. What is his name?
Glov. Simon.
Heng. How, Simon too?
Glov. Nay, 'tis but Simon one sir; the very same Simon that sold your
lordship a hide.
Heng. What sayest thou?
Glov. That's all his glory, sir: he got his master's widow by it
presently, a rich tanner's wife: she has set him up; he was her foreman a long
time in her other husband's days.
Heng. Now let me perish in my first aspiring,
If the pretty simplicity of his fortune
Do not most highly take me: 'tis a presage, methinks,
Of bright succeeding happiness to mine,
When my fate's glow-worm casts forth such a shine.—
And what are those that do contend with him?
Tail. Marry, my noble lord, a fustian-weaver.
Heng. How! he offer to compare with Simon? he a fit match for him!
Barb. Hark, hark, my lord! here they come both in a pelting chafe from
the town-house.
Enter SIMON and OLIVER.
Sim. How, before me? I scorn thee,
Thou wattle-faced singed pig.
Oliv. Pig? I defy thee;
My uncle was a Jew, and scorned the motion.
Sim. I list not brook thy vaunts. Compare with me,
Thou spindle of concupiscence? 'tis well known
Thy first wife was a flax-wench.
Oliv. But such a flax-wench
Would I might never want at my need,
Nor any friend of mine: my neighbours knew her.
Thy wife was but a hempen halter to her.
Sim. Use better words, I'll hang thee in my year else,
Let who will choose thee afterwards.
Glov. Peace, for shame;
Quench your great spirit: do not you see his lordship?
Heng. What, Master Simonides?
Sim. Simonides? what a fair name hath he made of Simon! then he's an
ass that calls me Simon again; I am quite out of love with it.
Heng. Give me thy hand; I love thy fortunes, and like a man that
thrives.
Sim. I took a widow, my lord, to be the best piece of ground to
thrive
on; and by my faith, my lord, there's a young Simonides, like a green onion,
peeping up already.
Heng. Thou'st a good lucky hand.
Sim. I have somewhat, sir.
Heng. But why to me is this election offered?
The choosing of a mayor goes by most voices.
Sim. True, sir, but most of our townsmen are so hoarse with drinking,
there's not a good voice among them all.
Heng. Are you content to put it to all these then?
To whom I liberally resign my interest,
To prevent censures.
Sim. I speak first, my lord.
Oliv. Though I speak last, my lord, I am not least: if they will cast
away a town-born child, they may; it is but dying some forty years before my
time.
Heng. I leave you to your choice a while.
All. Your good lordship.
[Exeunt HENGIST and Gentleman.
Sim. Look you, neighbours, before you be too hasty. Let Oliver the
fustian-weaver stand as fair as I do, and the devil do him good on't.
Oliv. I do, thou upstart callymoocher, I do; 'tis well known to the
parish I have been twice ale-conner; thou mushroom, thou shot'st up in a
night,
by lying with thy mistress!
Sim. Faith, thou art such a spiny baldrib, all the mistresses in the
town will never get thee up.
Oliv. I scorn to rise by a woman, as thou didst: my wife shall
rise by
me.
Glov. I pray leave your communication; we can do nothing else.
Oliv. I gave that barber a fustian-suit, and twice redeemed his
cittern: he may remember me.
Sim. I fear no false measure but in that tailor; the glover and the
button-maker are both cock-sure; that collier's eye I like not; now they
consult, the matter is in brewing: poor Gill, my wife, lies longing for the
news; 'twill make her a glad mother.
All. [Except OLIVER.] A Simon, a Simon!
Sim. Good people, I thank you all.
Oliv. Wretch that I am! Tanner, thou hast curried favour.
Sim. I curry! I defy thy fustian fume.
Oliv. But I will prove a rebel all thy year,
And raise up the seven deadly sins against thee. [Exit.
Sim. The deadly sins will scorn to rise by thee, if they have any
breeding, as commonly they are well brought up: 'tis not for every scab to be
acquainted with them: but leaving the scab, to you, good neighbours,
now I bend
my speech. First, to say more than a man can say, I hold it not fit to be
spoken: but to say what a man ought to say, there I leave you also. I must
confess your loves have chosen a weak and unlearned man; that I can neither
write nor read, you all can witness; yet not altogether so
unlearned, but I can
set my mark to a bond, if I would be so simple; an excellent token of
government. Cheer you then, my hearts, you have done you
know not what: there's
a full point; there you must all cough and hem. [They all cough and hem.]
Now touching our common adversary the fustian-weaver, who threatens he will
raise the deadly sins among us, let them come; our town is big enough to hold
them, we will not so much disgrace it; besides, you know a deadly sin will lie
in a narrow hole: but when they think themselves safest, and the web of their
iniquity best woven, with the horse-strength of my justice I will break
through
the loom of their concupiscence, and make the weaver go seek his shuttle: here
you may cough and hem again, if you'll do me the favour. [They cough and hem
again.] Why, I thank you all, and it shall not go unrewarded. Now for the
deadly sins, pride, sloth, envy, wrath; as for covetousness and gluttony, I'll
tell you more when I come out of my office; I shall have time to try what they
are: I will prove them soundly; and if I find gluttony and covetousness to be
directly sins, I'll bury the one in the bottom of a chest, and the other in
the
end of my garden. But, sirs, for lechery, I'll tickle that home myself,
I'll not
leave a whore in the town.
Barb. Some of your neighbours must seek their wives in the country
then.
Sim. Barber, be silent, I will cut thy comb else. To conclude, I will
learn the villany of all trades; my own I know already; if there be any
knavery
in the baker, I will bolt it out; if in the brewer, I will taste him
throughly,
and piss out his iniquity at his own suckhole: in a word, I will
knock down all
enormities like a butcher, and send the hide to my fellow-tanners.
All. A Simonides, a true Simonides indeed!
Re-enter HENGIST with ROXENA.
Heng. How now? how goes your choice?
Tail. This is he, my lord.
Sim. To prove I am the man, I am bold to take
The upper hand of your lordship: I'll not lose
An inch of my honour.
Heng. Hold, sirs: there's some few crowns
To mend your feast, because I like your choice.
[Gives money.
Barb. Joy bless you, sir!
We'll drink your health with trumpets.
Sim. I with sackbuts,
That's the more solemn drinking for my state;
No malt this year shall fume into my pate.
[Exeunt all but HENGIST and ROXENA.
Heng. Continues still that favour in his love?
Rox. Nay, with increase, my lord, the flame grows greater;
Though he has learned a better art of late
To set a screen before it.
Heng. Speak lower.
[Retires to a seat and reads; exit ROXENA.
Enter VORTIGER and HORSUS.
Hor. Heard every word, my lord
Vort. Plainly?
Hor. Distinctly.
The course I took was dangerous, but not failing,
For I conveyed myself behind the hangings
Even just before his entrance.
Vort. 'Twas well ventured.
Hor. I had such a woman's first and second longing in me
To hear how she would bear her mocked abuse
After she was returned to privacy,
I could have fasted out an ember-week,
And never thought of hunger, to have heard her;
Then came your holy Lupus and Germanus—
Vort. Two holy confessors.
Hor. At whose first sight
I could perceive her fall upon her breast,
And cruelly afflict herself with sorrow
(I never heard a sigh till I heard hers);
Who, after her confession, pitying her,
Put her into a way of patience,
Which now she holds, to keep it hid from you:
There's all the pleasure that I took in't now;
When I heard that, my pains was well remembered.
So, with applying comforts and relief,
They've brought it lower, to an easy grief;
But yet the taste is not quite gone.
Vort. Still fortune
Sits bettering our inventions.
Hor. Here she comes.
Enter CASTIZA.
Cast. Yonder's my lord; O, I'll return again!
Methinks I should not dare to look on him.
[Aside, and exit.
Hor. She's gone again.
Vort. It works the kindlier, sir:
Go now and call her back. [Exit HORSUS.] She winds herself
Into the snare so prettily, 'tis a pleasure
To set toils for her.
Re-enter CASTIZA and HORSUS.
Cast. He may read my shame
Now in my blush. [Aside.
Vort. Come, you're so linked to holiness,
So taken with contemplative desires,
That the world has you, yet enjoys you not:
You have been weeping too.
Cast. Not I, my lord.
Vort. Trust me, I fear you have: you're much to blame
To yield so much to passion without cause.
Is not some time enough for meditation?
Must it lay title to your health and beauty,
And draw them into time's consumption too?
'Tis too exacting for a holy faculty.—
My lord of Kent!—I prithee, wake him, captain;
He reads himself asleep, sure.
Hor. My lord!
Vort. Nay,
I'll take away your book, and bestow't here.
[Takes book from HENGIST.
Heng. Your pardon, sir.
Vort. [Giving book to CASTIZA.] Lady, you that delight in
virgins'
stories,
And all chaste works, here's excellent reading for you:
Make of that book as made men do of favours,
Which they grow sick to part from.—And now, my lord,
You that have so conceitedly gone beyond me,
And made so large use of a slender gift,
Which we ne'er minded, I commend your thrift;
And that your building may to all ages
Carry the stamp and impress of your wit,
It shall be called Thong Castle.
Heng. How, my lord,
Thong Castle! there your grace quits me kindly.
Vort. 'Tis fit art should be known by its right name;
You that can spread my gift, I'll spread your fame.
Heng. I thank you grace for that.
Vort. And, lovèd lord,
So well do we accept your invitation,
With all speed we'll set forwards.
Heng. Your honour loves me. [Exeunt.
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
A Public Way near HENGIST'S Castle.
Enter SIMON (a mace and sword before him), and all his brethren, meeting@
1
VORTIGER, CASTIZA, HENGIST, ROXENA, HORSUS, and two Ladies.
SIM. Lo, I, the Mayor of Queenborough by name,
With all my brethren, saving one that's lame,
Are come as fast as fiery mill-horse gallops
To greet thy grace, thy queen, and her fair trollops.
For reason of our coming do not look;
It must be done, I find it i' the town-book;
And yet not I myself, I cannot read;
I keep a clerk to do those jobs for need.
And now expect a rare conceit before Thong Castle see thee.—
Reach me the thing to give the king, the other too, I prithee.—
Now here they be, for queen and thee; the gift all steel and leather,
But the conceit of mickle weight, and here they come together:
To show two loves must join in one, our town presents by me
This gilded scabbard to the queen, this dagger unto thee.
[Offers scabbard and dagger.
Vort. Forbear your tedious and ridiculous duties;
I hate them, as I do the riots of your
Inconstant rabble; I have felt your fits:
Sheathe up your bounties with your iron wits.
[Exit with his train.
im. Look, sirs, is his back turned?
All. It is, it is.
Sim. Then bless the good Earl of Kent, say I
I'll have this dagger turned into a pie,
And eaten up for anger, every bit on't
And when this pie shall be cut up by some rare cunning pie-man,
They shall full lamentably sing, Put up thy dagger, Simon. [Exeunt.
SCENE II.
A Hall in HENGIST'S Castle. A feast set out.
Enter VORTIGER, HENGIST, HORSUS, DEVONSHIRE, STAFFORD, CASTIZA, ROXENA,
two Ladies, Guards, and Attendants.
Heng. A welcome, mighty lord, may appear costlier,
More full of toil and talk, show and conceit;
But one more stored with thankful love and truth
I forbid all the sons of men to boast of.
Vort. Why, here's a fabric that implies eternity;
The building plain, but most substantial;
Methinks it looks as if it mocked all ruin,
Saving that master-piece of consummation,
The end of time, which must consume even ruin,
And eat that into cinders.
Heng. There's no brass
Would pass your praise, my lord; 'twould last beyond it,
And shame our durablest metal.
Vort. Horsus!
Hor. My lord.
Vort. This is the time I've chosen; here's a full meeting,
And here will I disgrace her.
Hor. 'Twill be sharp, my lord
Vort. O, 'twill be best.
Hor. Why, here's the earl her father.
Vort. Ay, and the lord her uncle; that's the height of't;
Invited both on purpose, to rise sick,
Full of shame's surfeit
Hor. And that's shrewd, by'r lady:
It ever sticks close to the ribs of honour,
Great men are never sound men after it;
It leaves some ache or other in their names still,
Which their posterity feels at every weather.
Vort. Mark but the least presentment of occasion,
As these times yield enough, and then mark me.
Hor. My observance is all yours, you know't, my lord.—
What careful ways some take to abuse themselves!
But as there be assurers of men's goods
'Gainst storms or pirates, which gives adventurers courage,
So such there must be to make up man's theft,
Or there would be no woman-venturer left.
See, now they find their seats! what a false knot
Of amity he ties about her arm,
Which rage must part! In marriage 'tis no wonder,
Knots knit with kisses oft are broke with thunder. [Music.
Music? then I have done; I always learn
To give my betters place. [Aside.
Vort. Where's Captain Horsus?
Sit, sit; we'll have a health anon to all
Good services.
Hor. They are poor in these days;
They'd rather have the cup than the health.
He hears me not, and most great men are deaf
On that side. [Aside.
Vort. My lord of Kent, I thank you for this welcome;
It came unthought of, in the sweetest language
That ever my soul relished.
Heng. You are pleased, my lord,
To raise my happiness for slight deservings,
To show what power's in princes; not in us
Aught worthy, 'tis in you that makes us thus.
I'm chiefly sad, my lord, your queen's not merry.
Vort. So honour bless me, he has found the way
To my grief strangely. Is there no delight—
Cast. My lord, I wish not any, nor is't needful;
I am as I was ever.
Vort. That's not so.
Cast. How? O, my fears! [Aside.
Vort. When she writ maid, my lord,
You knew her otherwise.
Devon. To speak but truth,
I never knew her a great friend to mirth,
Nor taken much with any one delight;
Though there be many seemly and honourable
To give content to ladies without taxing.
Vort. My lord of Kent, this to thy full deserts,
Which intimates thy higher flow to honour. [Drinking.
Heng. Which, like a river, shall return in service
To the great master-fountain.
Vort. Where's your lord?
I missed him not till now,—Lady, and yours?
No marvel then we were so out of the way
Of all pleasant discourse; they are the keys
Of human music; sure at their nativities
Great Nature signed a general patent to them
To take up all the mirth in a whole kingdom.
What's their employment now?
1st Lady. May it please your grace,
We never are so far acquainted with them;
Nothing we know but what they cannot keep;
That's even the fashion of them all, my lord.
Vort. It seems ye've great thought in their constancies,
And they in yours, you dare so trust each other.
2nd Lady. Hope well we do, my lord; we've reason for it,
Because they say brown men are honestest;
But she's a fool will swear for any colour.
Vort. They would for yours.
2nd Lady. Truth, 'tis a doubtful question,
And I'd be loth to put mine to't, my lord.
Vort. Faith, dare you swear for yourselves? that's a plain question.
2nd Lady. My lord?
Vort. You cannot deny that with honour;
And since 'tis urged, I'll put you to't in troth.
1st Lady. May it please your grace—
Vort. 'Twou d please me very well;
And here's a book, mine never goes without one;
[Taking book from CASTIZA.
She's an example to you all for purity:
Come, swear (I've sworn you shall) that you ne'er knew
The will of any man besides your husband's.
2nd Lady. I'll swear, my lord as for as my remembrance—
Vort. How! your remembrance? that were strange.
1st Lady. Your grace
Hearing our just excuse, will not say so.
Vort. Well, what's your just excuse? you're ne'er without some.
1st Lady. I'm often taken with a sleep, my lord,
The loudest thunder cannot waken me,
Not if a cannon's burden be discharged
Close by my ear; the more may be my wrong;
There can be no infirmity, my lord,
More excusable in any woman.
2nd Lady. And I'm so troubled with the mother too,
I've often called in help, I know not whom;
Three at once have been too weak to keep me down.
Vort. I perceive there's no fastening. [Aside.]—Well, fair
one, then,
That ne'er deceives faith's anchor of her hold,
Come at all seasons; here, be thou the star
To guide those erring women, show the way
Which I will make them follow. Why dost start,
Draw back, and look so pale?
Cast. My lord!
Vort. Come hither;
Nothing but take that oath; thou'lt take a thousand:
A thousand! nay, a million, or as many
As there be angels registers of oaths.
Why, look thee, over-fearful chastity,
(That sinn'st in nothing but in too much niceness,)
I'll begin first and swear for thee myself:
I know thee a perfection so unstained,
So sure, so absolute, I will not pant on it,
But catch time greedily. But all those blessings
That blow truth into fruitfulness, and those curses
That with their barren breaths blast perjury,
Thou art as pure as sanctity's best shrine
From all man's mixture, save what's lawful, mine!
Cast. O, Heaven forgive him, he has forsworn himself!
[Aside.
Vort. Come, 'tis but going now my way.
Cast. That's bad enough. [Aside.
Vort. I've cleared all doubts, you see.
Cast. Good my lord, spare me.
Vort. How! it grows later than so. For modesty's sake,
Make more speed this way.
Cast. Pardon me, my lord,
I cannot.
Vort. What?
Cast. I dare not.
Vort. Fail all confidence
In thy weak kind for ever!
Devon. Here's a storm
Able to wake all of our name inhumed,
And raise them from their sleeps of peace and fame,
To set the honours of their bloods right here,
Hundred years after: a perpetual motion
Has their true glory been from seed to seed,
And cannot be choked now with a poor grain
Of dust and earth. Her uncle and myself,
Wild in this tempest, as e'er robbed man's peace,
Will undertake, upon life's deprivation,
She shall accept this oath.
Vort. You do but call me then
Into a world of more despair and horror;
Yet since so wilfully you stand engaged
In high scorn to be touched, with expedition
Perfect your undertakings with your fames;
Or, by the issues of abused belief,
I'll take the forfeit of lives, lands, and honours,
And make one ruin serve our joys and yours.
Cast. Why, here's a height of miseries never reached yet!
I lose myself and others
Devon. You may see
How much we lay in balance with your goodness,
And had we more, it went; for we presume
You cannot be religious and so vile—
Cast. As to forswear myself—'Tis truth, great sir,
The honour of your bed hath been abused.
Vort. O, beyond patience!
Cast. But give me hearing, sir,
'Twas far from my consent; I was surprised
By villains, and so raught.
Vort. Hear you that, sirs?
O cunning texture to enclose adultery!
Mark but what subtle veil her sins puts on;
Religion brings her to confession first,
Then steps in art to sanctify that lust.—
'Tis likely you could be surprised!
Cast. My lord!
Vort. I'll hear no more.—Our guard! seize on those lords.
Devon. We cannot perish now too fast; make speed
To swift destruction. He breathes most accurst
That lives so long to see his name die first.
[Exeunt DEVONSHIRE and STAFFORD, guarded.
Hor. Here's no dear villany! [Aside.
Heng. Let him entreat, sir,
That falls in saddest grief for this event,
Which ill begins the fortune of this building.
My lord! [Takes VORTIGER aside.
Rox. What if he should cause me to swear, too, captain?
You know I am as far to seek in honesty
As the worst here can be; I should be shamed too.
Hor. Why, fool, they swear by that we worship not;
So you may swear your heart out, and ne'er hurt yourself.
Rox. That was well thought on; I'd quite lost myself else.
Vort. You shall prevail in noble suits, my lord,
But this does shame the speaker.
Hor. I'll step in now,
Though't shall be to no purpose.—Good my lord,
Think on your noble and most hopeful issue,
Lord Vortimer, the prince.
Vort. A bastard, sir!
I would his life were in my fury now.
Cast. That injury stirs my soul to speak the truth%
Of his conception.—Here I take the book, my lord:
By all the glorified rewards of virtue
And prepared punishments for consents in sin,
A queen's hard sorrow ne'er supplied a kingdom
With issue more legitimate than Vortimer.
Vort. This takes not out the stain of present shame
Continuance crowns desert: she ne'er can go
For perfect honest that's not always so.—
Beshrew thy heart for urging this excuse;
Thou'st justified her somewhat.
Hor. To small purpose.
Vort. Among so many women, not one here
Dare swear a simple chastity! here's an age
To propagate virtue in! Since I've begun,
I'll shame you altogether, and so leave you.
My lord of Kent!
Heng. Your highness.
Vort. That's your daughter?
Heng. Yes, my good lord.
Vort. Though I'm your guest to-day,
And should be less austere to you or yours,
In this case pardon me; I may not spare her.
Heng. Then her own goodness friend her!—she comes, my lord.
Vort. The tender reputation of a maid
Makes your honour, or else nothing can:
The oath you take is not for truth to man,
But to your own white soul; a mighty task:
What dare you do in this?
Rox. My lord, as much
As chastity can put a woman to;
I ask no favour. And to approve the purity
Of what my habit and my time professeth,
As likewise to requite all courteous censure
Here I take oath I am as free from man
As truth from falsehood, or sanctity from stain.
Vort. O thou treasure that ravishes the possessor!
I know not where to speed so well again;
I'll keep thee while I have thee: here's a fountain
To spring forth princes and the seeds of kingdoms!
Away with the infection of black honour,
And those her leprous pledges!—
Here will we store succession with true peace;
And of pure virgins grace the poor increase.
[Exeunt all but HORSUS
Hor. Ha, ha!
He's well provided now: here struck my fortunes.
With what an impudent confidence she swore honest,
Having the advantage of the oath! precious whore!
Methinks I should not hear from fortune next
Under an earldom now: she cannot spend
A night so idly, but to make a lord
With ease, methinks, and play. The Earl of Kent
Is calm and smooth, like a deep dangerous water;
He has some secret way; I know his blood;
The grave's not greedier, nor hell's lord more proud.
Something will hap; for this astonishing choice
Strikes pale the kingdom, at which I rejoice. [Exit.
DUMB SHOW.
Enter LUPUS, GERMANUS, DEVONSHIRE, and STAFFORD, leading
VORTIMER, whom they crown: VORTIGER comes to them in passion; they
neglect
him. Enter ROXENA in fury, expressing discontent; then they lead out
VORTIMER: ROXENA gives two Villains gold to murder him; they swear
performance, and go with her: VORTIGER offers to run on his sword, HORSUS
prevents him, and persuades him. The Lords bring in VORTIMER dead:
VORTIGER mourns, and submits to them: they swear him, and crown him. Then
enters HENGIST with SAXONS: VORTIGER draws, threatens expulsion, and
then sends a parley, which HENGIST seems to grant by laying down his
weapons; so all depart severally.
Enter RAYNULPH.
Ray. Of Pagan blood a queen being chose,
Roxena hight, the Britons rose
For Vortimer, and crowned him king;
But she soon poisoned that sweet spring.
Then unto rule they did restore
Vortiger; and him they swore
Against the Saxons: they (constrained)
Begged peace, treaty, and obtained.
And now in numbers equally
Upon the plain near Salisbury,
A peaceful meeting they decreen,
Like men of love, no weapon seen.
But Hengist, that ambitious lord,
Full of guile, corrupts his word,
As the sequel too well proves:—
On that your eyes; on us your loves. [Exit.
SCENE III.
A Plain near Salisbury.
Enter HENGIST with Saxons.
Heng. If we let slip this opportuneful hour,Take leave of fortune,
certainty, or thought
Of ever fixing: we are loose at root,
And the least storm may rend us from the bosom
Of this land's hopes for ever. But, dear Saxons,
Fasten we now, and our unshaken firmness
Will endure after-ages.
1st Sax. We are resolved, my lord.
Heng. Observe you not how Vortiger the king,
Base in submission, threatened our expulsion,
His arm held up against us? Is't not time
To make our best prevention? What should check me?
He has perfected that great work in our daughter,
And made her queen: she can ascend no higher.
Therefore be quick; despatch. Here, every man
Receive into the service of his vengeance
An instrument of steel, which will unseen
[Distributing daggers.
Lurk, like a snake under the innocent shade
Of a spread summer-leaf: there, fly you on.
Take heart, the commons love us; those removed
That are the nerves, our greatness stands improved.
1st Sax. Give us the word, my lord, and we are perfect.
Heng. That's true; the word,—I lose myself—"Nemp your
sexes:"
It shall be that.
1st Sax. Enough, sir: then we strike.
Heng. But the king's mine: take heed you touch him not.
1st Sax. We shall not be at leisure; never fear it;
We shall have work enough of our own, my lord.
Heng. Calm looks, but stormy souls possess you all!
Enter VORTIGER and British Lords.
Vort. We see you keep your words in all points firm.
Heng. No longer may we boast of so much breath
As goes to a word's making, than of care
In the preserving of it when 'tis made.
Vort. You're in a virtuous way, my lord of Kent:
And since both sides are met, like sons of peace,
All other arms laid by in signs of favour,
If our conditions be embraced—
Heng. They are.
Vort. We'll use no other but these only here.
Heng. "Nemp your sexes."
British Lords. Treason! treason!
[The Saxons stab the British Lords.
Heng. Follow it to the heart, my trusty Saxons!
It is your liberty, your wealth, and honour.—
Soft, you are mine, my lord. [Seizing VORTIGER.
Vort. Take me not basely, when all sense and strength
Lies bound up in amazement at this treachery.
What devil hath breathed this everlasting part
Of falsehood into thee?
Heng. Let it suffice
I have you, and will hold you prisoner,
As fast as death holds your best props in silence.
We know the hard conditions of our peace,
Slavery or diminution; which we hate
With a joint loathing. May all perish thus,
That seek to subjugate or lessen us!
Vort. O, the strange nooks of guile or subtilty,
When man so cunningly lies hid from man!
Who could expect such treason from thy breast,
Such thunder from thy voice? Or tak'st thou pride
To imitate the fair uncertainty
Of a bright day, that teems a sudden storm,
When the world least expects one? but of all,
I'll ne'er trust fair sky in a man again:
There's the deceitful weather. Will you heap
More guilt upon you by detaining me,
Like a cup taken after a sore surfeit,
Even in contempt of health and Heaven together?
What seek you?
Heng. Ransom for your liberty,
As I shall like of, or you ne'er obtain it.
Vort. Here's a most headlong dangerous ambition!
Sow you the seeds of your aspiring hopes
In blood and treason, and must I pay for them?
Heng. Have not I raised you to this height of pride?
A work of my own merit, since you enforce it.
Vort. There's even the general thanks of all aspirers:
When they have all a kingdom can impart,
They write above it still their own desert.
Heng. I've writ mine true, my lord.
Vort. That's all their sayings.
Have not I raised thy daughter to a queen?
Heng. You have the harmony of your pleasure for it;
You crown your own desires; what's that to me?
Vort. And what will crown yours, sir?
Heng. Faith, things of reason:
I demand Kent.
Vort. Why, you've the earldom of it.
Heng. The kingdom of't, I mean, without control,
In full possession.
Vort. This is strange in you.
Heng. It seems you're not acquainted with my blood,
To call this strange.
Vort. Never was king of Kent,
But who was general king.
Heng. I'll be the first then:
Everything has beginning.
Vort. No less title?
Heng. Not if you hope for liberty, my lord.
So dear a happiness would not be wronged
With slighting.
Vort. Very well: take it; I resign it.
Heng. Why, I thank your grace.
Vort. Is your great thrist yet satisfied?
Heng. Faith, my lord,
There's yet behind a pair of teeming sisters,
Norfolk and Suffolk, and I've done with you.
Vort. You've got a dangerous thirst of late, my lord,
Howe'er you came by't.
Heng. It behoves me then,
For my blood's health, to seek all means to quench it.
Vort. Them too?
Heng. There will nothing be abated, I assure you.
Vort. You have me at advantage: he whom fate
Does captivate, must yield to all. Take them.
Heng. And you your liberty and peace, my lord,
With our best love and wishes.—Here's an hour
Begins us, Saxons in wealth, fame, and power.
[Exit with Saxons.
Vort. Are these the noblest fruits and fair'st requitals
From works of our own raising?
Methinks, the murder of Constantius
Speaks to me in the voice of't, and the wrongs
Of our late queen, slip both into one organ.
Enter HORSUS.
Ambition, hell, my own undoing lust,
And all the brood of plagues, conspire against me:
I have not a friend left me.
Hor. My lord, he dies
That says it, but yourself, were't that thief-king,
That has so boldly stolen his honours from you;
A treason that wrings tears from honest manhood.
Vort. So rich am I now in thy love and pity,
I feel no loss at all: but we must part,
My queen and I to Cambria.
Hor. My lord, and I not named,
That have vowed lasting service to my life's
Extremest minute!
Vort. Is my sick fate blest with so pure a friend?
Hor. My lord, no space of earth, nor breadth of sea,
Shall divide me from you.
Vort. O faithful treasure!
All my lost happiness is made up in thee. [Exit.
Hor. I'll follow you through the world, to cuckold you;
That's my way now. Every one has his toy
While he lives here: some men delight in building,
A trick of Babel, which will ne'er be left;
Some in consuming what was raised with toiling;
Hengist in getting honour, I in spoiling. [Exit.
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
A Room in SIMON'S House.
Enter SIMON, Glover, Feltmonger, and other of his brethren, AMINADAB,
and Servants.
SIM. Is not that rebel Oliver, that traitor to my year, 'prehended yet?
Amin. Not yet, so please your worship.
Sim. Not yet, sayest thou? how durst thou say, not yet, and see me
present? thou malapert, thou art good for nothing but to write and read! Is
his
loom seized upon?
Amin. Yes, if it like your worship, and sixteen yards of fustian.
Sim. Good: let a yard be saved to mend me between the legs, the rest
cut in pieces and given to the poor. 'Tis heretic fustian, and should be burnt
indeed; but being worn threadbare, the shame will be as great: how think you,
neighbours?
Glov. Greater, methinks, the longer it is wore;
Where being once burnt, it can be burnt no more.
Sim. True, wise and most senseless.—How now, sirrah?
Enter a Footman.
What's he approaching here in dusty pumps?
Amin. A footman, sir, to the great King of Kent.
Sim. The King of Kent? shake him by the hand for me.
Thou'rt welcome, footman: lo, my deputy shakes thee!
Come when my year is out, I'll do't myself.
If 'twere a dog that came from the King of Kent,
I keep those officers would shake him, I trow.
And what's the news with thee, thou well-stewed footman?
Foot. The king, my master—
Sim. Ha!
Foot. With a few Saxons,
Intends this night to make merry with you.
Sim. Merry with me? I should be sorrow else, fellow,
And take it in ill part; so tell Kent's king.
Why was I chosen, but that great men should make
Merry with me? there is a jest indeed!
Tell him I looked for't; and me much he wrongs,
If he forget Sim that cut out his thongs.
Foot. I'll run with your worship's answer.
Sim. Do, I prithee. [Exit Footman.
That fellow will be roasted against supper;
He's half enough already; his brows baste him.
The King of Kent! the King of Kirsendom
Shall not be better welcome;
For you must imagine now, neighbours, this is
The time when Kent stands out of Kirsendom,
For he that's king here now was never kirsened.
This for your more instruction I thought fit,
That when you're dead you may teach your children wit.—
Clerk!
Amin. At your worship's elbow.
Sim. I must turn
You from the hall to the kitchen to-night.
Give order that twelve pigs be roasted yellow,
Nine geese, and some three larks for piddling meat,
And twenty woodcocks: I'll bid all my neighbours.
Give charge the mutton come in all blood-raw,
That's infidel's meat; the King of Kent's a Pagan,
And must be servèd so. And let those officers
That seldom or never go to church bring it in,
'Twill be better taken. Run, run. [Exit AMINADAB.
Come you hither now.
Take all my cushions down and thwack them soundly,
After my feast of millers; for their buttocks
Have left a peck of flour in them: beat them carefully
Over a bolting-hutch, there will be enough
For a pan-pudding, as your dame will handle it.
Then put fresh water into both the bough-pots,
And burn a little juniper in the hall-chimney:
[Exeunt Servants.
Like a beast as I was, I pissed out the fire last night, and never dreamt of
the
king's coming.
Re-enter AMINADAB.
How now, returned so quickly?
Amin. Please your worship, here are a certain company of
players—
Sim. Ha, players!
Amin. Country comedians, interluders, sir, desire your
worship's favour
and leave to enact in the townhall.
Sim. In the town-hall? 'tis ten to one I never grant them that. Call
them before my worship. [Exit AMINADAB.]—If my house will not serve
their turn, I would fain see the proudest he lend them a barn.
Re-enter AMINADAB with Players.
Now, sir, are you comedians?
2nd Play. We are, sir; comedians, tragedians, tragicomedians, comi-
tragedians, pastorists, humourists, clownists, satirists: we have them, sir,
from the hug to the smile, from the smile to the laugh, from the laugh to the
handkerchief.
Sim. You're very strong in the wrists, methinks. And must all these
good parts be cast away upon pedlars and maltmen, ha?
1st Play. For want of better company, if it please your worship.
Sim. What think you of me, my masters? Hum; have you audacity enough to
play before so high a person as myself? Will not my countenance daunt you? for
if you play before me, I shall often look on you; I give you that warning
beforehand. Take it not ill, my masters, I shall laugh at you, and truly when
I
am least offended with you: it is my humour but be not you abashed.
1st Play. Sir, we have played before a lord ere now,
Though we be country actors.
Sim. A lord? ha, ha!
Thou'lt find it a harder thing to please a mayor.
2nd Play. We have a play wherein we use a horse.
Sim. Fellows, you use no horse-play in my house;
My rooms are rubbed: keep it for hackney-men.
1st Play. We'll not offer it to your worship.
Sim. Give me a play without a beast, I charge you.
2nd Play. That's hard; without a cuckold or a drunkard?
Sim. O, those beasts are often the best men in a parish, and must not
be kept out. But which is your merriest play? that I would hearken after.
2nd Play. Your worship shall hear their names, and take your choice.
Sim. And that's plain dealing. Come, begin, sir.
2nd Play. The Whirligig, The Whibble, The Carwidgeon.
Sim. Hey-day! what names are these?
2nd Play. New names of late. The Wildgoose Chase.
Sim. I understand thee now.
2nd Play. Gull upon Gull.
Sim. Why, this is somewhat yet.
1st Play. Woodcock of our side.
Sim. Get thee further off then.
2nd Play. The Cheater and the Clown.
Sim. Is that come up again.
That was a play when I was 'prentice first.
2nd Play. Ay, but the cheater has learned more tricks of late,
And gulls the clown with new additions.
Sim. Then is your clown a coxcomb; which is he?
1st Play. This is our clown, sir.
Sim. Fie, fie, your company must fall upon him and beat him: he's too
fair, i'faith, to make the people laugh.
1st Play. Not as he may be dressed, sir.
Sim. Faith, dress him how you will, I'll give him that gift, he will
never look half scurvily enough. O, the clowns that I have seen in my time!
The
very peeping out of one of them would have made a young heir laugh, though his
father lay a-dying; a man undone in law the day before (the saddest case that
can be) might for his twopence have burst himself with laughing, and ended all
his miseries. Here was a merry world, my masters!
Some talk of things of state, of puling stuff;
There's nothing in a play to a clown, if he
Have the grace to hit on't; that's the thing indeed:
The king shows well, but he sets off the king.
But not the King of Kent, I mean not so;
The king is one, I mean, I do not know.
2nd Play. Your worship speaks with safety, like a rich man;
And for your finding fault, our hopes are greater,
Neither with him the clown, nor me the cheater.
Sim. Away, then; shift, clown, to thy motley crupper.
[Exeunt Players.
We'll see them first, the king shall after supper.
Glov. I commend your worship's wisdom in that, master mayor.
Sim. Nay, 'tis a point of justice, if it be well examined, not to
offer
the king worse than I'll see myself. For a play may be dangerous: I have
known a
great man poisoned in a play—
Glov. What, have you, master mayor?
Sim. But to what purpose many times, I know not.
Felt. Methinks they should not destroy one another so.
Sim. O, no, no! he that's poisoned is always made privy to it; that's
one good order they have among them.—[A shout within.] What joyful
throat is that? Aminadab, what is the meaning of this cry?
Amin. The rebel is taken.
Sim. Oliver the puritan?
Amin. Oliver, puritan, and fustian-weaver altogether.
Sim. Fates, I thank you for this victorious day!
Bonfires of peas-straw burn, let the bells ring!
Glov. There's two in mending, and you know they cannot.
Sim. 'Las, the tenor's broken! ring out the treble!
Enter OLIVER, brought in by Officers.
I'm over-cloyed with joy.—Welcome, thou rebel!
Oliv. I scorn thy welcome, I.
Sim. Art thou yet so stout?
Will thou not stoop for grace? then get thee out.
Oliv. I was not born to stoop but to my loom:
That seized upon, my stooping days are done.
In plain terms, if thou hast anything to say to me, send me away quickly, this
is no biding-place; I understand there are players in thy house; despatch me,
I
charge thee, in the name of all the brethren.
Sim. Nay, now proud rebel, I will make thee stay,
And, to thy greater torment, see a play.
Oliv. O devil! I conjure thee by Amsterdam!
Sim. Our word is past;
Justice may wink a while, but see at last.
[Trumpet sounds to announce the commencement of the play.
The play begins. Hold, stop him, stop him!
Oliv. O that profane trumpet! O, O!
Sim. Set him down there, I charge you, officers.
Oliv. I'll hide my ears and stop my eyes.
Sim. Down with his golls, I charge you.
Oliv. O tyranny, tyranny! revenge it, tribulation!
For rebels there are many deaths; but sure the only way
To execute a puritan, is seeing of a play.
O, I shall swound!
Sim. Which if thou dost, to spite thee,
A player's boy shall bring thee aqua-vitæ.
Enter 1st Player as 1st Cheater.
Oliv. O, I'll not swound at all for't, though I die.
Sim. Peace, here's a rascal! list and edify.
1st Play. I say still he's an ass that cannot live by his wits.
Sim. What a bold rascal's this! he calls us all asses at first dash:
sure none of us live by our wits, unless it be Oliver the puritan.
Oliv. I scorn as much to live by my wits as the proudest of you all.
Sim. Why, then you're an ass for company; so hold your prating.
Enter 2nd Player as 2nd Cheater.
1st Play. Fellow in arms, welcome! the news, the news?
Sim. Fellow in arms, quoth he? He may well call him fellow in arms;
I'm
sure they're both out at the elbows.
2nd Play. Be lively, my heart, be lively; the booty is at hand. He's
but a fool of a yeoman's eldest son; he's balanced on both sides, bully; he's
going to buy household stuff with one pocket, and to pay rent with the other.
1st Play. And if this be his last day, my chuck, he shall forfeit his
lease, quoth the one pocket, and eat his meat in wooden platters, quoth the
other.
Sim. Faith, then he's not so wise as he ought to be, to let such
tatterdemallions get the upper hand of him.
1st Play. He comes.
Enter 3rd Player as Clown.
2nd Play. Ay, but smally to our comfort, with both his hands in his
pockets. How is it possible to pick a lock, when the key is on the inside of
the
door?
Sim. O neighbours, here's the part now that carries away the play! if
the clown miscarry, farewell my hopes for ever; the play's spoiled.
3rd Play. They say say there is a foolish kind of thing called a
cheater abroad, that will gull any yeoman's son of his purse, and laugh in his
face like an Irishman. I would fain meet with some of these creatures: I am in
as good state to be gulled now as ever I was in my life, for I have two purses
at this time about me, and I would fain be acquainted with that rascal that
would take one of them now.
Sim. Faith, thou mayest be acquainted with two or three, that will do
their good wills, I warrant thee.
1st Play. That ways too plain, too easy, I'm afraid.
2nd Play. Come, sir, your most familiar cheats take best,
They shew like natural things and least suspected.
Give me a round shilling quickly.
1st Play. It will fetch but one of his hands neither, if it take.
2nd Play. Thou art too covetous: let's have one out first, prithee;
there's time enough to fetch out the other after.
Thou liest, 'tis lawful current money. [They draw.
1st Play. I say 'tis copper in some countries.
3rd Play. Here is a fray towards; but I will hold my hands, let who
will part them.
2nd Play. Copper? I defy thee, and now I shall disprove thee. Look
you,
here's an honest yeoman's son of the country, a man of judgment.
3rd Play. Pray you be covered, sir; I have eggs in my cap, and cannot
put it off.
2nd Play. Will you be tried by him?
1st Play. I am content, sir.
Sim. They look rather as if they would be tried next sessions.
1st Play. Pray give your judgment of this piece of coin, sir.
3rd Play. Nay, if it be coin you strive about, let me see it; I love
money.
1st Play. Look on it well, sir. [They pick his pocket.
2nd Play. Let him do his worst, sir.
3rd Play. You'd both need wear cut clothes, you're so choleric.
2nd Play. Nay, rub it, and spare not, sir.
3rd Play. Now by this silver, gentlemen, it is good money; would I
had
a hundred of them!
2nd Play. We hope well, sir.—The other pocket, and we are made
men. [Exeunt 1st and 2nd Players.
Sim. O neighbours, I begin to be sick of this fool to see him thus
cozened! I would make his case my own.
3rd Play. Still would I meet with these things called cheaters.
Sim. A whoreson coxcomb; they have met with thee.
I can no longer endure him with patience.
3rd Play. O my rent! my whole year's rent!
Sim. A murrain on you! this makes us landlords stay so long for our
money.
3rd Play. The cheaters have been here.
Sim. A scurvy hobby-horse, that could not leave his money with me,
having such a charge about him! A pox on thee for an ass! thou play a clown! I
will commit thee for offering it.—Officers, away with him!
Glov. What means your worship? why, you'll spoil the play, sir.
Sim. Before the King of Kent shall be thus served,
I'll play the clown myself.—Away with him!
[Officers seize 3rd Player.
3rd Play. With me? if it please your worship, 'twas my part.
Sim. But 'twas a foolish part as ever thou playedst in thy life: I'll
make thee smoke for it; I'll teach thee to understand to play a clown; thou
shalt know every man is not born to it.—Away with him quickly! He'll have
the other pocket picked else; I heard them say it with my own ears
Re-enter 2nd Player as 2nd Cheater.
See, he's come in another disguise to cheat thee again.
[Exit 3rd Player with Officers.
2nd Play. Pish, whither goes he now?
Sim. Come on, sir, let us see what your knaveship can do at me now:
you
must not think you have a clown in hand. The fool I have committed too, for
playing the part. [Throws off his gown, discovering his doublet with a satin
forepart, and a canvas back.
2nd Play. What's here to do?
Glov. Fie, good sir, come away: will your worship base yourself to
play
a clown?
2nd Play. I beseech your worship let us have our own clown; I know not
how to go forwards else.
Sim. Knave, play out thy part with me, or I'll lay thee by the heels
all the days of thy life.—Why, how now, my masters, who is that laughed
at
me? cannot a man of worship play the clown a little for his pleasure, but he
must be laughed at? Do you know who I am? Is the king's deputy of no better
account among you? Was I chosen to be laughed at?—Where's my clerk?
Amin. Here, if it please your worship.
Sim. Take a note of all those that laugh at me, that when I have
done,
I may commit them. Let me see who dare do it now.—And now to you once
again, Sir Cheater: look you, here are my purse-strings; I do defy thee.
2nd Play. Good sir, tempt me not; my part is so written, that I
should
cheat your worship if you were my father.
Sim. I should have much joy to have such a rascal to my son.
2nd Play. Therefore I beseech your worship pardon me; the part
has more
knavery in it than when your worship saw it at first: I assure you you'll be
deceived in it, sir; the new additions will take any man's purse in Kent or
Kirsendom.
Sim. If thou canst take my purse, I'll give it thee freely:
And do thy worst, I charge thee, as thou'lt answer it.
2nd Play. I shall offend your worship.
Sim. Knave, do it quickly.
2nd Play. Say you so,? then there's for you, and here is for me.
[Throws meal in his face, takes his purse, and exit.
Sim. O bless me! neighbours, I am in a fog,
A cheater's fog; I can see nobody.
Glov. Run, follow him, officers.
Sim. Away! let him go; he will have all your purses, if he come back.
A
pox on your new additions! they spoil all the plays that ever they come in:
the
old way had no such roguery in it. Call you this a merry comedy, when a man's
eyes are put out in't? Brother Honeysuckle— [Exit AMINADAB.
Felt. What says your sweet worship?
Sim. I make you deputy, to rule the town till I can see again, which
will be within these nine days at farthest. Nothing grieves me now, but that I
hear Oliver the rebel laugh at me. A pox on your puritan face! this will make
you in love with plays as long as you live; we shall not keep you from them
now.
Oliv. In sincerity, I was never better pleased at an exercise. Ha, ha,
ha!
Sim. Neighbours, what colour was the dust the rascal threw in my
face?
Glov. 'Twas meal, if it please your worship.
Sim. Meal! I am glad of it; I'll hang the miller for selling it.
Glov. Nay, ten to one the cheater never bought it; he stole it
certainly.
Sim. Why, then I'll hang the cheater for stealing it, and the miller
for being out of the way when he did it.
Felt. Ay, but your worship was in the fault yourself; you bid him do
his worst.
Sim. His worst? that's true; but the rascal hath done his best; for I
know not how a villain could put out a man's eyes better, and leave them in
his
head, as he has done mine.
Re-enter AMINADAB.
Amin. Where is my master's worship?
Sim. How now, Aminadab? I hear thee, though I see thee not.
Amin. You are sure cozened, sir; they are all professed cheaters:
they
have stolen two silver spoons, and the clown took his heels with all celerity.
They only take the name of country comedians to abuse simple people with a
printed play or two, which they bought at Canterbury for sixpence; and what is
worse, they speak but what they list of it, and fribble out the rest.
Sim. Here's no abuse to the commonwealth, if a man could see to look
into it!
But mark the cunning of these cheating slaves,
First they make Justice blind, then play the knaves.
Heng. [Without.] Where's master mayor?
Glov. Od's precious, brother! the King of Kent is newly alighted.
Sim. The King of Kent!
Where is he? that I should live to this day,
And yet not live to see to bid him welcome!
Enter HENGIST attended.
Heng. Where is Simonides, our friendly host?
Sim. Ah, blind as one that had been foxed a seven-night!
Heng. Why, how now, man?
Sim. Faith, practising a clown's part for your grace,
I have practised both my eyes out.
Heng. What need you practise that?
Sim. A man is never too old to learn; your grace will say so, when
you
hear the jest of it: the truth is, my lord, I meant to have been merry, and now
it is my luck to weep water and oatmeal; I shall see again at supper, I make
no
doubt of it.
Heng. This is strange to me, sirs.
Enter a Gentleman.
Gent. Arm, arm, my lord!
Heng. What's that?
Gent. With swiftest speed,
If ever you'll behold the queen, your daughter,
Alive again.
Heng. Roxena?
Gent. They are besieged:
Aurelius Ambrose, and his brother Uther,
With numbers infinite of British forces,
Beset their castle, and they cannot 'scape
Without your speedy succour.
Heng. For her safety
I'll forget food and rest; away!
Sim. I hope your worship will hear the jest ere you go.
Heng. The jest! torment me not.
Sim. I'll follow you to Wales with a dog and a bell, but I will
tell it
you.
Heng. Unseasonable folly! [Exit with Attendants.
Sim. 'Tis sign of war when great men disagree.
Look to the rebel well, till I can see;
And when my sight's recovered, I will have
His eyes pulled out for a fortnight.
Oliv. My eyes? hang thee!
A deadly sin or two shall pluck them out first;
That is my resolution. Ha, ha, ha! [Exeunt.
SCENE II.
Before a Castle in Wales.
Enter AURELIUS and UTHER and Lords, with Soldiers.
Uth. My lord, the castle is so fortified—
Aur. Let wild-fire ruin it,
That his destruction may appear to him
In the figure of Heaven's wrath at the last day,
That murderer of our brother. Hence, away!
I'll send my heart no peace till't be consumed.
[Enter above VORTIGER and HORSUS.
Uth. There he appears again—behold, my lord!
Aur. O that the zealous fire on my soul's altar,
To the high birth of virtue consecrated,
Would fit me with a lightning now to blast him,
Even as I look upon him!
Uth. Good my lord,
Your anger is too noble and too precious
To waste itself on guilt so foul as his:
Let ruin work her will.
Vort. Begirt all round?
Hor. All, all, my lord; 'tis folly to make doubt of't
You question things, that horror long ago
Resolved us on.
Vort. Give me leave, Horsus, though—
Hor. Do what you will, sir; question them again; I'll tell them to you
.
Vort. Not so, sir;
I will not have them told again.
Hor. It rests then—
Vort. That's an ill word put in, when thy heart knows
There is no rest at all, but torment waking.
Hor. [Aside.] True; my heart finds it, that sits weeping blood
now
For poor Roxena's safety.—You'll confess, my lord,
My love to you has brought me to this danger?
I could have lived, like Hengist, King of Kent,
London, York, Lincoln, and Winchester,
Under the power of my command, the portion
Of my most just desert, enjoyèd now
By pettier deservers.
Vort. Say you so, sir?
And you'll confess, since you began confession,
(A thing I should have died ere I had thought on),
You've marred the fashion of your affection utterly,
In your own wicked counsel, there you paid me:
You were bound in conscience to love me after;
You were bound to't, as men in honesty,
That vitiate virgins, to give dowries to them:
My faith was pure before to a faithful woman.
Hor. My lord, my counsel—
Vort. Why, I'll be judged by these
That knit death in their brows, and hold me now
Not worth the acception of a flattery;
Most of whose faces smiled when I smiled once.
My lords!
Uth. Reply not, brother.
Vort. Sees of scorn,
I mind you not; I speak to them alone
Whose force makes yours a power, which else were none.
Show me the main food of your hate,
Which cannot be the murder of Constantius,
That crawls in your revenges, for your loves
Were violent long since that.
1st Lord. And had been still,
If from that Pagan wound thou'dst kept thee free;
But when thou fled'st from Heaven, we fled from thee.
Vort. This was your counsel now.
Hor. Mine? 'twas the counsel
Of your own lust and blood; your appetite knows it.
Vort. May thunder strike me from these walls, my lords,
And leave me many leagues off from your eyes,
If this be not the man whose Stygian soul
Breathed forth that counsel to me, and sole plotter
Of all those false injurious disgraces,
That have abused the virtuous patience
Of our religious queen.
Hor. A devil in madness!
Vort. Upon whose life I swear there sticks no stain
But what's most wrongful: and where now she thinks
A rape dwells on her honour, only I
Her ravisher was, and his the policy.
Aur. Inhuman practice!
Vort. Now you know the truth,
Will his death serve your fury?
Hor. My death?
Vort. Say, will it do it?
Hor. Say they should say 'twould do't?
Vort. Why, then it must.
Hor. It must?
Vort. It shall,—
Speak but the word, it shall be yielded up.
Hor. Believe him not; he cannot do it.
Vort. Cannot?
Hor. 'Tis but a false and base insinuation
For his own life, and like his late submission.
Vort. O sting to honour! Alive or dead, thou goest
For that word's rudeness only. [Stabs him.
1st Lord. See, sin needs
No other destruction than it breeds
In its own bosom.
Vort. Such another brings him.
Hor. What! has thy vile rage stamped a wound upon me?
I'll send one to thy soul shall never heal for't
Vort. How, to my soul?
Hor. It shall be thy master torment,
Both for the pain and the everlastingness.
Vort. Ha, ha, ha!
Hor. Dost laugh? take leave of't: all eternity
Shall never see thee do so much again.
Know, thou'rt a cuckold.
Vort. What!
Hor. You change too soon, sir.
Roxena, whom thou'st raised to thy own ruin,
See was my whore in Germany.
Vort. Burst me open,
The violence of whirlwinds!
Hor. Hear me out first.
For her embrace, which my flesh yet sits warm in,
I was thy friend and follower.
Vort. Defend me,
Thou most imperious noise that starts the world!
Hor. And to serve both our lusts, I practised with thee
Against thy virtuous queen.
Vort. Bane to all comforts!
Hor. Whose faithful sweetness, too precious for thy blood,
I made thee change for love's hypocrisy.
Vort. Insufferable!
Hor. Only to make
My way to pleasure fearless, free, and fluent
Vort. Hell's trump is in that throat!
Hor. It shall sound shriller.
Vort. I'll dam it up with death first. [They stab each
other. Enter ROXENA above.
Rox. O for succour!
Who's near me? Help me, save me! the flame follows me;
'Tis in the figure of young Vortimer, the prince,
Whose life I took by poison.
Hor. Hold out, breath,
And I shall find thee quickly.
Vort. I will tug
Thy soul out here.
Hor. Do, monster!
Rox. Vortiger!
Vort. Monster!
Rox. My lord!
Vort. Toad! Pagan!
Hor. Viper! Christian!
Rox. O hear me, O help me, my love, my lord! 'tis here!
Horsus, look up, if not to succour me,
To see me yet consumed. O what is love,
When life is not regarded!
Vort. What strength's left
I'll fix upon thy throat.
Hor. I have some force yet.
[They stab each other, HORSUS falls.
Rox. No way to 'scape? is this the end of glory?
Doubly beset with enemies' wrath, and fire?
It comes nearer—rivers and fountains, fall!—
It sucks away my breath; I cannot give
A curse to sin, and hear't out while I live.
Help, help! [Falls.
Vort. Burn, burn! Now I can tend thee.
Take time with her in torment, call her life
Afar off to thee, dry up her strumpet-blood,
And hardly parch the skin: let one heat strangle her,
Another fetch her to her sense again,
And the worse pain be only her reviving;
Follow her eternally! O mystical harlot,
Thou hast thy full due! Whom lust crowned queen before,
Flames crown her now a most triumphant whore;
And that end crowns them all! [Falls.
Aur. Our peace is full
In yon usurper's fall; nor have I known
A judgment meet the bad more fearfully.
Here, take this ring; deliver the good queen,
And those grave pledges of her murdered honour,
Her worthy father and her noble uncle.
[Exit 2nd Lord with ring. Trumpets sound.
How now! the meaning of these sounds?
Enter DEVONSHIRE, STAFFORD, and Soldiers, with HENGIST
prisoner.
Hen. The consumer has been here; she's gone, she's lost;
In glowing cinders now lie all my joys:
The headlong fortune of my rash captivity
Strikes not so deep a wound into my hopes
As thy dear loss.
Aur. Her father and her uncle!
1st Lord. They are indeed, my lord.
Aur. Part of my wishes.
What fortunate power has prevented me,
And ere my love came, brought them victory?
1st Lord. My wonder sticks in Hengist, King of Kent.
Devon. My lord, to make that plain which now I see
Fixed in astonishment; the only name
Of your return and being, brought such gladness
To this distracted kingdom, that, to express
A thankfulness to Heaven, it grew great
In charitable actions; from which goodness
We taste our liberty, who lived engaged
Upon the innocence of woman's honour,
(A kindness that even threatened to undo us):
And having newly but enjoyed the benefit
And fruits of our enlargement, 'twas our happiness
To intercept this monstre of ambition,
Bred in these times of usurpation,
The rankness of whose insolence and treason
Grew to such height, 'twas armed to bid you battle;
Whom, as our fame's redemption, on our knees
We present captive.
Aur. Had it needed reason,
You richly came provided. I understood
Not your deserts till now.—My honoured lords,
Is this that German Saxon, whose least thirst
Could not be satisfied under a province?
Heng. Had but my fate directed this bold arm
To thy life, the whole kingdom had been mine;
That was my hope's great aim: I have a thirst
Could never have been full quenched under all:
The whole must do't, or nothing.
Aur. A strange drought!
And what a little ground shall death now teach you
To be content withal!
Heng. Why let it then,
For none else can; you've named the only way
To limit my ambition; a full cure
For all my fading hopes and sickly fears;
Nor shall it be less welcome to me now,
Than a fresh acquisition would have been
Unto my new-built kingdoms. Life to me,
'Less it be glorious, is a misery.
Aur. That pleasure we will do you.—Lead him out:
And when we have inflicted our just doom
On his usurping head, it will become
Our pious care to see this realm secured
From the convulsions it hath long endured. [Exeunt.
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