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Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Searching... Subject: JOKES Matches Found: 69 UPDATE command denied to user 'poetryex_users'@'localhost' for table `poetryex_poems`.`subcnt` A CURIOUS REMINISCENCE, by ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY (19TH CENTURY) Poem Text First Line: Of all the bloomin' awful things, the awfullest I've knowed Last Line: An' gallops off like madmen through the rain. Subject(s): Death; Drinks & Drinking; Memory; Practical Jokes; Dead, The; Wine; Pranks A YARN OF LAMBING FLAT, by ANONYMOUS Poem Text First Line: Call that a yarn!' said old tom pugh Last Line: His fix on lambing flat.' Subject(s): Gold Mines & Miners;practical Jokes;story-telling; Pranks ALAS!, by FRANKLIN PIERCE ADAMS Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: I cannot write the old jokes Last Line: And I haven't got the files. Alternate Author Name(s): F. P. A. Subject(s): Humor; Jokes; Writing & Writers AND WHO DO YOU BELONG TO, by DEBRA MARQUART Poem Source First Line: Even in my ghost costume I'm recongnizable Last Line: And I end up winning %the whole goddamn jar Subject(s): Children; Halloween; Practical Jokes CROSS-QUESTIONING, by ROWLAND EYLES EGERTON-WARBURTON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: His wardrobe from moses and son, spic and span Last Line: "I ne'er in my life saw a ham better drest." Alternate Author Name(s): Egerton-warburton, R. E. Subject(s): Clothing & Dress; Jokes EPIGRAM (4), by MATTHEW PRIOR Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Frank carves very ill, yet will palm all the meats Last Line: It cost thee more in whips than hay. Subject(s): Jokes; Poetry & Poets; Smoking; Tobacco; Pipes; Cigars; Cigarettes EQUAL JUSTICE, by ROWLAND EYLES EGERTON-WARBURTON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: By the mantuan law, the old chronicle faith Last Line: Our host had been hung when he sold his bordeaux. Alternate Author Name(s): Egerton-warburton, R. E. Subject(s): Drinks & Drinking; Hospitality; Jokes; Justice; Wine FALSE FRIENDS-LIKE, by WILLIAM BARNES Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: When I was still a boy, an' mother's pride Last Line: An' thank en, I do veel a little shy. Subject(s): Distrust; Friendship - False Friends; Practical Jokes; Fair Weather Friends; Pranks FIVE SURE WAYS TOWARD SELF-ACTUALIZATION, by PETER JOHNSON Poem Source Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: 1) disclose your mantra to complete strangers at the Last Line: These essays. Send them to your enemies on their birth- %days, wedding anniversaries, valentine's da Subject(s): Jokes; Nonsense FLIGHT, by CHARLES STUART CALVERLEY Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: O memory! That which I gave thee Last Line: And now it has flown. Subject(s): Jokes HIDDEN TALENT, by ROWLAND EYLES EGERTON-WARBURTON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: The lady you took into dinner Last Line: "who never lets any come out." Alternate Author Name(s): Egerton-warburton, R. E. Subject(s): Character; Jokes HIGH SCHOOL JOKE, by JUANITA BROWN TOBIN Poem Source First Line: Simon was the one who distinguished Last Line: Were hanging in the trees Subject(s): Jokes; Schools HIS LORDSHIP'S INVITATION, by ROWLAND EYLES EGERTON-WARBURTON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Your client had better a compromise make' Last Line: "say, a glass of warm ale, if his lordship's inclin'd." Alternate Author Name(s): Egerton-warburton, R. E. Subject(s): Deafness; Jokes; Law & Lawyers; Attorneys HOW MCDOUGAL TOPPED THE SCORE, by THOMAS E. SPENCER Poem Text First Line: A peaceful spot is piper's flat. The folk that live around Last Line: For we played molongo cricket—and mcdougal topped the score! Subject(s): Animals; Cricket (game); Dogs; Practical Jokes; Sports; Pranks I JOKES, by KEN WALDMAN Poem Source First Line: In nome we say I jokes Last Line: In nome we say I jokes %at the end of a joke. I jokes Subject(s): Comedy; Eskimos; Jokes; Laughter; Native Americans; Nome, Alaska IN CHARGE OF LAUGHTER, by JAY MEEK Poem Source First Line: In the old television situation comedies Last Line: Agreed upon as having been devastating Subject(s): Comedy; Jokes; Laughter JOKER FAMILY, by GREG DELANTY Poem Source First Line: You took such care of your hair Last Line: How the winds blow Subject(s): Grandparents; Jokes; Laughter MADAME DELUXE'S INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL AND MARRIAGE GUIDE, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Q. Why does my husband overheat? Last Line: 2. Start has not been touched Subject(s): Jokes; Marriage MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 1. ORDERING YOUR BRIDE, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: To order, simply send check or credit card information Last Line: And best of all, no more cold shoulders Subject(s): Jokes; Man-woman Relationships; Marriage; Marriage - Forced MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 10. THE MARRIAGE, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Simply peel silver backing off heavenly veil (see enclosed) and Last Line: Apply to bride's forehead. Garters and rings sold separately Subject(s): Jokes; Marriage - Forced MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 2. RECEIVING YOUR BRIDE, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Open box carefully. Do not use letter opener or knife to cut tape Last Line: For her to completely unfurl and walk without the assistance of a staff Subject(s): Jokes; Marriage; Marriage - Forced MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 3. ASKING FOR HER HAND, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Once you have developed a rapport with your new deluxe bride Last Line: Brides are bribe-resistant and not susceptible to reprimands Subject(s): Jokes; Man-woman Relationships; Marriage; Marriage - Forced MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 4. HOW TO ENDURE YOUR BRIDE TO YOU, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Tell her she looks lean as a sparerib Last Line: Use ribbed condoms for her pleasure Subject(s): Jokes; Man-woman Relationships; Marriage; Marriage - Forced MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 6. WHAT TO DO IF YOUR BRIDE IS, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: If your bride expects intercourse more than three times a week Last Line: Till there is a contemptuous look in her eye Subject(s): Jokes; Marriage; Sex MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 7. WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: When your bride is asleep, remove her deluxe tongue Last Line: Odd means you have miscounted. Check again Subject(s): Happiness; Jokes; Marriage MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 8. WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: If you suspect your bride is lying or cheating Last Line: Will stain hands and feet Subject(s): Cheating; Jokes; Marriage - Forced; Unfaithfulness MADAME DELUXE'S MAIL-ORDER BRIDES: 9. WHAT OTHER HUSBANDS HAVE SAID, by TENAYA DARLINGTON Poem Source First Line: Even though nefertiti continually burns the tv dinners, she's %a real ham.' Last Line: Suit jackets. Just like ken.' Subject(s): Jokes; Marriage; Marriage - Forced MAKING NOTHING HAPPEN, by BRENDAN KENNELLY Poem Source First Line: Auden smiled and slyly said Last Line: And a warm head Subject(s): Auden, Wystan Hugh (1907-1973); Jokes; Poetry And Poets; Yeats, William Butler (1865-1939) MARKETS, ALLEYS & HOUNDS OF HELL, by LUIS J. RODRIGUEZ Poem Source First Line: My brother, whom we called rano Last Line: Inflamed with laughter Subject(s): Brothers; Childhood Memories; Jokes; Laughter MORE POWER, by BRENDAN KENNELLY Poem Source First Line: More power to your elbow,' she said Last Line: The poorhouse %or hell Subject(s): Jokes; Luck NECK, by BRENDAN KENNELLY Poem Source First Line: He has a neck like a jockey's bollocks,' she said Last Line: And he goes to cheltenham in bed.' Subject(s): Ireland; Jokes NIGHTFLOWERS, by BRENDAN KENNELLY Poem Source First Line: I know you'll laugh at this, me love,' she said Last Line: I could feel flowers growin' outa me ears.' Subject(s): Jokes; Relationships NO JOKE, by ALLAN PETERSON Poem Source First Line: There was the joke about the anthropologist Last Line: All this would still be likely Subject(s): Jokes NO JOKE, by PHIL WEIDMAN Poem Source First Line: Perry manages a u-haul Last Line: Strutting & acting like %trouble couldn't touch him Subject(s): Jokes OLD FASHIONED FUN, by WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: When that old joke was new Last Line: When your old joke was new. Subject(s): Jokes; Puns OLD JOKES APPRECIATE, by MARIE PONSOT Poem Full Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Up the long stairs I run Subject(s): Jokes; Conduct Of Life ONES, by BRENDAN KENNELLY Poem Source First Line: Have the dead a sense of humour? Last Line: Who deserve a kick in the arse? Subject(s): Death; Jokes ONLY A PIN, by ISAAC HINTON BROWN Poem Text First Line: Only a pin, let it calmly lay Last Line: Its seat was not hurt, but the boy was raw. Subject(s): Pins; Practical Jokes; Pranks PADDY'S REMONSTRANCE, by ROWLAND EYLES EGERTON-WARBURTON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Pat! Buy a trunk?' 'sure, for what'? He replied Last Line: "would you have me go naked entirely?"" said pat." Alternate Author Name(s): Egerton-warburton, R. E. Subject(s): Clothing & Dress; Jokes POLLY BE-EN UPZIDES WI' TOM, by WILLIAM BARNES Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Ah! Yesterday, d'ye know, I voun' / tom dumpy's cwoat an' smock-frock, down Last Line: Cut hoss-heäir down my neck. Subject(s): Clothing & Dress; Practical Jokes; Revenge; Summer; Pranks PONTIUS AND PONTIA, by MATTHEW PRIOR Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Pontius (who loves, you know, a joke Last Line: Pray bring your brother wits to see 't. Subject(s): Hair; Jokes; Love; Marriage; Weddings; Husbands; Wives PREFACE, by HUMBERT WOLFE Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: The reason why this book is verse / (and nothing, I admit, is worse) Last Line: Just take the beastly book, and burn it. Subject(s): Comedy; Jokes PUZZLE, by WILLIAM A. PHELON Poem Text First Line: In days of old, when knights were bold Last Line: When bugs and ants sneaked in! Subject(s): Jokes; Knights & Knighthood; Past SARCASTIC, by JAMES RYDER RANDALL Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Loud sir, I am Last Line: When jackasses are a-braying. Subject(s): Fools; Jokes; Talk; Idiots SCHERZO, by JACQUES LECLERCQ Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: You do not know what wonder Last Line: Will you care? Subject(s): Animals; Horses; Jokes SPOON RIVER ANTHOLOGY: SHACK DYE, by EDGAR LEE MASTERS Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: The white men played all sorts of jokes on me Last Line: What moved you about spoon river. Subject(s): Practical Jokes; Racism; Pranks; Racial Prejudice; Bigotry SWEATHOGS MEET CHARLIE'S ANGELS BEHIND THE SHED, by TODD FULLER Poem Source First Line: Some days we'd see brian or david scampering Last Line: In a glittering, tight ensemble I'd never seen Subject(s): Children; Games; Practical Jokes THE AMERICAN JOKE (READ AT THE BIRTHDAY DINNER TO S.L. CLEMENS), by WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: A traveller from the old world, just escaped Last Line: "I type their master-mood. Mark twain made me." Alternate Author Name(s): Howells, W. D. Subject(s): Birthdays; Jokes; Twain, Mark (samuel Langhorne Clemens); Writing & Writers THE COWBOY, by JAMES TATE Poem Full Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Someone had spread an elaborate rumor about me, that I was Subject(s): Practical Jokes; Imagination; Motion Pictures; Pranks; Fancy; Movies; Cinema THE FAIR MILLINGER, by FREDERICK WADSWORTH LORING Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: It was a millinger most gay Last Line: "thanks!"" says my millinger." Subject(s): Courtship; Jokes; Women THE GUILE OF DAD MCGINNIS, by W. T. GOODGE Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: When mcginnis struck the mining camp at jamberoora creek Last Line: "so, good morning, mr kangaroobie riley!" Alternate Author Name(s): Goodge, William Thomas Subject(s): Bars & Bartenders; Practical Jokes; Pubs; Taverns; Saloons; Pranks THE HATS, by GREGORY ORR Poem Full Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: The hats are hungry Last Line: Has it been fed? Subject(s): Hats; Jokes THE JOKE, by ROBERT CREELEY Poem Full Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: There was a joke Subject(s): Jokes THE JOKE, by DORA L. KIMMONS Poem Text First Line: My 'little joke', at my dear friend's expense Last Line: I bear the other in my wounded heart. Subject(s): Cruelty; Jokes THE MAN FROM IRONBARK, by ANDREW BARTON PATERSON Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: It was the man from ironbark who struck the sydney town Last Line: That flowing beards are all the go way up in ironbark. Alternate Author Name(s): Paterson, 'banjo' Subject(s): Barbers; Jokes; Murder THE NEW JOKE, by FRANK TOURTELLOT EASTON Poem Text First Line: I invent a bran-new joke Last Line: Boo! Hoo! Hoo! Subject(s): Jokes THE PRACTICAL JOKER, by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Oh, what a fund of joy jocund lies hid in harmless Last Line: Upon a friend a man may spend a most delightful day. Alternate Author Name(s): Gilbert, W. S. Subject(s): Humorists; Practical Jokes; Pranks THE SEXTON AND THE THERMOMETER, by WILLIAM ALLEN BUTLER Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: A building there is, well known, I conjecture Last Line: "so, if you take the joke, why, I'll take the dollar!" Subject(s): Churches; Janitors; Jokes; Thermometers; Cathedrals THE SILKEN SNAKE, by ROBERT HERRICK Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: For sport my julia threw a lace Last Line: But though it scar'd, it did not bite. Subject(s): Animals; Practical Jokes; Snakes; Pranks; Serpents; Vipers THE SUNDOWNER'S SACRIFICE, by J. O. Poem Text First Line: Old jacky gazed on the setting sun Last Line: "h—m, clear out of here like—blazes!" Subject(s): Labor & Laborers; Practical Jokes; Work; Workers; Pranks THIRD USE OF THE PENIS, by BARTON SUTTER Poem Source First Line: My friend ann, the reference librarian Last Line: What is the third use of the penis? Subject(s): Jokes; Librarians And Libraries; Men; Reproductive System THOMAS THE PRETENDER, by JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Tommy's alluz playin' jokes Last Line: "an' grease the welts, ""pore pa! Pore pa!" Alternate Author Name(s): Johnson Of Boone, Benj. F. Subject(s): Children; Family Life; Jokes; Childhood; Relatives TILL EULENSPIEGEL, by CHARLES HANSON TOWNE Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: Eulenspiegel, merry lad Last Line: Blooms with laughter and delight. Subject(s): Practical Jokes; Pranks TRICKSTER, by MARGARET C. SZUMOWSKI Poem Source First Line: You filled the governess's shoes with frogs Last Line: Make a stout cage of these arms Subject(s): Fathers; Old Age; Practical Jokes UTTER FOLLIES, by WILLIAM A. PHELON Poem Text First Line: An irishman named goldstein Last Line: The hot dog is the wurst! Subject(s): Humorists; Jokes VILLANELLE OF THINGS AMUSING, by FRANK GELETT BURGESS Poem Text Poet's Biography First Line: These are the things that make me laugh Last Line: And I've missed of too many jokes by half! Alternate Author Name(s): Burgess, Gelett Subject(s): Jokes; Laughter; Life WALKS LIKE THIS, by G. A. P. (19TH CENTURY) Poem Text First Line: He was dry as georgie's poodle and was quickly growing worse Last Line: "this!!!" Subject(s): Drinks & Drinking; Practical Jokes; Revenge; Wine; Pranks WHAT DICK AN' I DID, by WILLIAM BARNES Poem Text Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Last week the browns ax'd nearly all Last Line: As bad as na'r a tun, min. Subject(s): Parties; Practical Jokes; Revenge; Winter; Pranks WHAT'S THE MATTER, HAVEN'T YOU GOT ANY SENSE OF HUMOR?, by OGDEN NASH Poem Source Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: There is at least one thing I would less rather have ... Than a gangster Last Line: And that to mind is the perfect practical joke Subject(s): Practical Jokes |
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